


Suddenly

by romanticalgirl



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-01
Packaged: 2018-01-10 18:47:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 27,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1163215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The evil forces are back at work in Sunnydale and this time, their weapon is some one the Slayer can't destroy ~ Willow</p><p> </p><p>Cowritten by Tracy and Amy, neither of whom are still in fandom. :(</p><p>Violence level/action of the show.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 2000

Xander sat on the edge of Buffy's bed and looked around her room. Nothing much had changed since the last time he'd been here. He glanced at the Slayer out of the corner of his eye. Well, some things had changed. "So, you're sure Willow's coming? Oz isn't going to keep her away, afraid I might steal her?"

"Oz doesn't think like that. He knows Willow is with him now. And he's not worried about you."

"Thanks. I think."

"Xander, you should be happy he's not still angry."

"I should be happy he won?"

"Was she a prize?" Buffy looked pointedly at him. "Were you competing for her affection? Who will win in tonight's Sunnydale Death Match? The best friend or the boyfriend?"

"I wasn't just her best friend while I was kissing her." He turned away, embarrassed. He didn't want to talk about this. It hurt to remember how easy it had been to hurt some of the people he loved. "It doesn't matter now anyway. He's back with Willow, Cordelia thinks I'm useless. All is right with the world."

"Faith doesn't think you're useless."

Xander looked at her, wide eyed. She *knew * about Faith? "Oh?"

"She mentioned something to me…" Buffy walked over to sit next to him, every instinct in her telling her she was doing the wrong thing. But what was the right thing, anymore? Doing the right thing had led Giles to betraying her trust. Doing the right thing had almost gotten her killed. Doing the right thing had sent the man she loved to hell. "And I got to thinking."

"About?" Suave. He could be suave. He could sit here, next to Buffy, and be as suave as possible while she was coming on to him. Because she was. Coming on to him. He thought.

"About…" She raised her hand and ran it over his chest. "You. And me."

"And Willow's going to be here any minute."

"I told her eight. We've got an hour." Buffy leaned in to kiss him, pushing him back onto the bed. "I want you Xander."

*****  
Willow leaned over to give Oz a quick kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yep. Have fun tonight."

"I will." She felt him watch her as she bounced up the stairs to Buffy's front door. Tonight was a time honored tradition. She, Buffy and Xander had made a date to watch really bad Indian television the way they used to - just the Slayer and her two original Slayerettes.

Joyce opened the door at Willow's knock. "Hi Willow. C…" She stopped.

"You're learning Ms. Summers." Willow walked in without invitation. "It's tough, I know. You get so used to doing what's polite, you forget to be careful."

"It's a hard lesson to learn."

"It's even harder if you don't learn it. Are Buffy and Xander here yet?"

"Yes, they're upstairs and the sitar music is driving me insane."

Willow laughed. "I'd better get up there to translate or I'll never hear the end of it."

*****  
The bedroom door was closed, probably to dim the sound of the sitar. Her mother was right, the music seemed exceptionally loud tonight. Why did Buffy have the volume so high?

Willow twisted the knob slowly. A sense of foreboding swept over her and stilled the greeting on her lips. She took a deep breath and tears filled her eyes. Her heart was in pieces somewhere in her shoes.

The soft lamplight seemed to glow off his bare skin, so pale in comparison to Buffy's light tan. They were kissing, limbs entangled, bodies glistening with perspiration from their obviously recent activities. Willow pulled the door shut silently, her sob caught in her throat. Turning on her heel, she fled the house into the night.

The night seemed so much safer.

*****  
Buffy pulled back from the kiss and stared into his deep brown eyes. "Wow."

He nodded. "Yeah." He looked over at the clock. "Um, we should…it's after eight."

"After?" Worry crept into her tone. She scrambled from the bed and gathered her clothes, putting them on with a Slayer's speed. "You'd better…"

"Are we gonna talk about this?"

"Willow's gonna be here any second. We'll talk later." She looked up and smiled at him. "I promise."

He got up and dressed, his heart heavy. He wasn't sure what had just happened, other than the obvious, and he really wasn't sure what he was supposed to be feeling. He finished pulling his shirt on when there was a knock on the door.

"Come on in." Buffy pasted a smile on her face, trying not to think about how she was going to face her friend.

"I brought you some snacks. I know how Indian soap operas can make you….where's Willow?"

Xander and Buffy both looked at her horrified. "What do you mean, where's Willow? Mom?"

"She got here about 15 minutes ago. Didn't you know that?" Joyce's face showed her worry. "Where is she, Buffy?"

Xander couldn't swallow. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't… "She must have seen…she must have left. Alone." He stood up and shoved his feet into his shoes. Buffy grabbed his arm as he headed past her.

"Xander."

"Don't try to stop me, Buffy. Willow's out there in the dark, alone. I'm going."

"I know. I'm coming too. But I don't need both of you out there without protection." She gestured to her trunk. "Stakes, holy water, crosses. You do remember those things called vampires, right?"

*****  
Willow sat on the swing set. She knew she was being stupid. No one who had half a brain sat outside at night in Sunnydale. But being some vampire's midnight snack - well, 8:45 snack - had to be better than the feeling of betrayal she was experiencing. Suddenly she knew how Oz and Cordelia had felt when they walked in to the Factory. Suddenly she knew why Cordelia had reverted back to being such a bitch. Suddenly she knew, without a doubt, things were never going to be the same again.


	2. Chapter 2

"Xander? Did you find anything?" Buffy sat on the swing next to him, worry thick in her voice.

"No. I went by her house though. Her bedroom light was on, so I'm hoping she made it home okay."

"Didn't you knock?"

"And say what, Buffy?" He looked at her, his sadness palatable. "Hey Will! I was wondering if you happened to see me having sex with Buffy tonight? You did? And how are you taking that?"

"You don't have to get mad at me." She stood up and walked a few steps away. "It wasn't just me."

"How do you feel about me, Buffy?"

She faced him, something like fear in her eyes. "What do you mean?"

"How do you feel about me? Do you love me?"

"Of course I do. You're my…you're Xander."

"How do you love me?"

She sighed angrily. "What do you mean? What do you want me to say?"

He stared down at his shoes, not wanting to see her eyes. "Do you love me like you love him?"

"That's not fair, Xander."

"I think it's a fair question."

"Can't you just be happy with this? With the fact that I love you?"

"I love her like you love him. And I just broke her heart."

Anger consumed her. This was not her fault. "You've broken her heart a hundred times before Xander, why should this be any different?" She swallowed and knelt before him. "I'm sorry. Look, we did a bad thing. No one has to know."

"Willow already knows." He reached out to stroke her hair back from her face. "She already knows, Buffy."

"We don't know that." She pulled away from his touch. "We're just going on assumptions. Maybe she remembered something. Maybe she decided to stay with Oz. Maybe…"

"Maybe she left without telling anyone because she knows how much we love to worry." He ran an agitated hand through his hair. "I think I'm going to go home. I need some time."

"Right. Time." She refused to let her tears fall. "This was supposed to be something nice. Something you've always wanted. Something we could both remember."

"And it was. Is." He sighed. "Buffy, I'm not blaming you. It was…everything I expected and more. But I'm not the same kid I was three years ago. And he's the one who fell in love with you. You gave me something special tonight, but I don't know what it means yet."

"No. You're worried about Willow."

He looked surprised at the venom in her voice. "How dare you. Willow has given up so much for me, done so much for me. How dare you be angry at her for me wanting to make something up to her."

"You want to make her happy, Xander? Why don't you just leave her the hell alone? She's better off without you!" Buffy turned and ran from the playground, her heart beating in overtime. Why was it every time she wanted something it went horribly, horribly wrong?

Xander watched her go. Why did he have such horrible luck with women? Bugs and mummies were easy compared to the likes of Cordelia, Willow and Buffy.

*****  
Buffy dared the night to bother her. Romance was obviously not a Slayer strong point. Not that it had that much to do with romance, if she was honest. She'd been lonely, afraid she was doomed to a life of loving only one vampire, and Faith had made it all seem so attractive. Love him and leave him. Except Xander didn't mean as much to Faith as he did to Buffy.

And Faith probably didn't care what it did to Willow either. She thought she did. She thought that she would always respect the fact that Willow loved Xander. Friendship was supposed to mean more than anything else. Friendship had gotten her out of a lot of scrapes.

She thought about Willow and what she might have seen. It had gotten her into a scrape or two as well.

*****  
Xander sat on the bench outside the school and looked at his watch for, probably, the eighth time. For the first time in his life, he was early for school.

"So, loser boy, you're really going for geek of the year, aren't you?" Cordelia smirked down at him. "Or did you just forget to do your homework so you're waiting for your personal love slave? Oh wait. She dumped you too."

Xander smiled and hid the pain her words caused. He was good at that. Hiding. "As I recall Cordelia, you never dumped me."

"Must have been too busy recovering from the iron bar you and Willow helped impale me on." She smiled cattily. "Bye."

Sighing as she walked up the steps, he turned back to scanning the crowd. She had to be here soon. She was never late.

"Hey Xander."

"Oh. Oz. Hey. Oz."

"Hey." He sat down next to him. "What's up?"

"Waiting. For Buffy. And Willow. But not just Willow. Because I'm waiting for Buffy too."

"You know, Xander," Oz looked down at his hands. "It's okay. You and me. I trust Willow. You don't have to explain."

Xander didn't say anything, not sure what would be appropriate.

"Hey, Buffy."

He looked up quickly at Oz's words. A warm flush suffused his face as she approached them. God, she was beautiful. She took off her sunglasses and stared at him in shock. "Xander? What are you doing here? The first bell hasn't even rung."

"I…"

"Hey."

His heart stopped. Her soft voice was like a vice around it. He looked over at her. "Hey Will."

"Hey Oz." She stepped around Buffy and Xander to take her boyfriend's hand. "Come on. I don't want to be late."

Xander stood next to Buffy and watched them walk away. "So, still think she didn't see anything?"

*****  
He'd looked everywhere for her. The student lounge, the library, the quad, the computer lab, even the girl's locker room. She was nowhere. It was as if she disappeared between classes. He sighed and slipped into his English class. And she was there.

Sitting right in the front.

He sighed and sank into his regular seat across from Buffy. "I take it she still isn't talking?"

She shrugged. "This is the first I've seen her since this morning. I'm gonna guess avoidance is her word for the day."

"What about lunch? We all always sit together."

The teacher walked into the room as the bell rang. Buffy smiled and shrugged again.

*****  
"Willow? C'mon Willow!" Xander caught up with the redhead and took her arm. "Please, Will? Talk to me?"

Her green eyes held something he'd never seen before. Hatred.

"I don't have anything to say to you, Alexander Harris. I'm glad you finally got what you wanted. I hope it was worth it."

"Aren't you even going to hear me out?"

"Why? Do you plan to deny it? Justify it? Why bother? You don't belong to me. And she's the woman you've always loved. Besides, you can't deny it. I saw it with my own eyes."

"I can explain."

"I took sex education, Xander. I don't need it explained." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I don't know if you ever knew this, because you're about as stupid as any person I've ever met, but I loved you. I loved you since the day I met you. And I would have forgiven you anything. I tried to get along with Cordelia, because you cared about her." She sniffed back tears. "Even Cordelia couldn't stop me from loving you."

"Willow…"

"But Buffy knew. She knew that I loved you. And that didn't stop it." The tears escaped and ran unchecked down her face. "She betrayed me. And so did you. And I can't ever forgive you for that."

"If you love me so much, why are you with Oz? Why did you go back to him after what happened between us?"

"Because you don't love me!" she screamed. "You never did and you never will, because all you've ever wanted is the Slayer. And from what I hear, now you've bagged them both."


	3. Chapter 3

Willow pulled out of his grasp and ran down the hall. He started to follow her, stopped by the sound of clapping.

He turned to see Cordelia standing there surrounded by pretty much everyone he'd ever known his entire life. "Very impressive Harris. Both of them, hmm?"

"I have to go."

"Oh? Catch your little Willow?" Her voice was thick with venom. "You're always chasing after someone, aren't you?"

"At least I wised up enough to stop chasing after you." He turned around and ran down the hall.

Buffy walked up to Cordelia as the rest of the crowd dissipated. "I think you've probably hurt him enough."

"You have no room to talk." She snapped. "You've done your share of hurting. From what Willow said, more than your share. Nice to know you all feel the same way about friendship."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Were we friends?" Buffy turned on her heel and headed for the library. Maybe there was a nice apocalyptic prophecy to make the day perfect.

*****  
Giles looked up as the library doors swung wide open. "Oh. Hello Buffy."

"Hi. Have you seen Willow or Xander?"

"No. Am I supposed to?" He turned his book to face her. "Have you seen this creature before?"

"No. Unless it was on Indian television, I haven't seen a single creature this week."

"Hmm."

"What? What hmmm?" She leaned forward and pulled the book closer. Looked like an average demon to her. "Does it do bad things to good boys and girls?"

"It's something of an anomaly. It's been reported throughout history as a demon, yet it does both good and evil."

"Sort of like love?"

"Pardon?"

"Nothing." She waved the thought away. "So, is this demon thingy coming to pay us a visit?"

"There's a prophecy that could refer to this. It's all very muddled."

"There's a surprise."

"I wish Willow were here. I need some help from that blasted…"

"It's okay to just call it a computer." Buffy sighed and moved to the weapons cabinet. "I don't know when or if Willow's coming. She's kind of mad at Xander right now."

"Perhaps you could let her know I'd appreciate it if she could help us put off the end of the world for some other day?"

"You really have to work on that sarcasm." She picked up the quarterstaff, hefting it's weight. "Can we practice with big, painful weapons today? I really need to hit something."

"I'll call Faith."

*****  
She stopped running when she got to the parking lot. Oz's van was nowhere in sight, so she kept walking. She was cutting school. She never cut school. Of course, her two best friends in the world had never slept together befo…

A pain went through her like a hot knife. What if they had? What if she'd been fooling herself all along? What if they'd been fooling her? Laughing at her behind her back, sharing all the private moments she dreamed of since she was a child. Maybe that was the problem. She was a child. He would never want her.

She sat at the bus stop outside the school, sinking onto the bench sadly. Hadn't he proven it time and again? When he'd been possessed he had insulted her. She'd just forgiven him, like she always did, because she hadn't wanted to face up to the truth.

Alexander Harris didn't love her. He never would.

"Willow?" He approached her slowly. "Please, Willow? Talk to me?"

"There's nothing to say Xander. You don't have to explain. I get it. Finally."

"What do you get, Wills?"

"We're friends. That's all." She stared out at the road, not wanting him to see the emotion in her eyes. "You saw it all along, didn't you? That's why you pretended not to see me mooning over you all those years. That's why you needed someone like Cordelia to make me see." Her chin trembled, but she refused to give in to tears again. "I just have one question."

His heart was breaking. He needed to explain to her that she was wrong. That he did love her, always loved her. That she was everything to him. "What's that?"

"Why did you kiss me? Why did you give me that hope?" She looked at him finally.

He was relieved to see that the hatred was no longer in her eyes. Instead it was the quiet resignation he'd grown so used to during junior high. It was the sadness of someone who had given up her dream. "I kissed you because I had to."

"A dare? A whim?"

"A need. I needed to kiss you, Willow."

"And you needed to fuck her?" The profanity seemed foreign to her lips. "And Faith? What about Cordelia? Her too? Was I next? Or did Oz come along at the wrong time?" She smiled through her tears. "I'm sorry. I have no right…."

"Willow, you're my friend…."

"I know, Xander. I'm your friend."

He listened to her, knowing with all his heart he'd said the wrong thing. He'd done everything wrong for one brief moment of fantasy fulfillment. "I never meant to hurt you."

"You never mean it."

"We should get back to school."

"No. After that outburst, I don't think I can face an afternoon of hearing about Alexander Harris' most recent conquests. Or his spurned lover, not that I ever was. Spurned. Or your lover." She got up, trying her best to smile for him. "Tell Oz I wasn't feeling well, okay?"

"Willow?"

"Please Xander?"

He nodded, growing tired of watching her walk away.

*****  
Buffy helped Giles off the floor. "You're supposed to avoid the big stick."

"Thank you. Sometimes I think I should get a stunt double." He adjusted the padding on his chest. "I really wish Faith would answer her phone more often."

"Buck up, Giles. I…" She faded out as Xander walked through the doors, rejection plain on his face. "Did you catch her?"

"Yeah. For all the good it did." He flopped into a chair and buried his head in his hands. "I ruined it Buffy. I ruined the best thing in my life."

"You've had fights with Willow before. She gets over them. Remember Valentine's Day? And the hyena thing. She forgave you for those." Willow had to forgive Xander. It was a rule of the universe. Not to mention the fact that if Willow wouldn't forgive Xander, there was no way she was going to forgive her. "This is a little thing."

"Little thing?" Xander was incredulous. "Little thing? How is this a little thing?"

"It was a one time thing."

"My God. You two slept together?" Giles' voice hit a new octave. "Really Buffy, was that wise?"

"At least he didn't turn into a demon!" She swung the staff and hit Giles square in the chest, sending him sprawling into the circulation desk. "I didn't do anything wrong. We didn't do anything wrong. Maybe we did something not smart, but it wasn't wrong." She looked down at her Watcher with tear-filled eyes. "Was it?"

*****  
Cordelia stared into the band room, uncertain of what exactly she planned to do. Oz and Devon were inside working on something new for their band. Buffy's comment still stung. She'd stuck around even after the humiliation they'd caused her. She still helped out in the long run. She put out Willow when she was on fire. Surely that was worth something?

Pushing open the door, she ignored her ex-boyfriend and looked at Oz. "I just wanted you to know, Willow left school. She's kind of upset."

"Is she okay?"

She felt a pang of guilt but suppressed it. She was good at suppressing. "Seems Buffy slept with Xander and she's taking it hard. Guess she's not as over him as you thought." She let the door swing shut behind her. If she couldn't be happy, there was no reason Willow should. After all, the hacker was the cause of all her problems.

*****  
Oz stared after her. "Devon, I gotta go."

"Right. Right. You know Oz, I'm beginning to dread the name Willow."


	4. Chapter 4

Buffy closed her eyes, wishing it all away. Wishing she'd never let Faith lead her down that train of thought. Wishing she'd never kissed him. Wishing she'd never hurt Willow. Willow. How was she ever going to repair this rift? She opened her eyes and stared at the books in front of her. Nothing had changed. Wishing never helped.  
"Looking for something?"

"Angel!" She spun around quickly. "Hi. Uhm, hi."

"You're jumpy. Is everything okay?"

"Sure. Fine. Nothing is not okay here."

He raised an eyebrow and smiled. "You sure?"

"Yeah." She headed back for the table. "What brings you here?"

"I thought I would leave some of these books for Giles. They might help him with some upcoming stuff. Not just slaying stuff," he added quickly. "Other stuff."

"Oh."

"Are you sure you're all right, Buffy?"

She couldn't look at him. "I'm sure."

He nodded even though she wouldn't see. "All right. Maybe I'll see you tonight?"

"Maybe."

*****  
Oz opened Willow's bedroom door and stuck his head in. "Hey, baby."

"Oz. Hi. Why are you here? Not that I don't want you here, but why are you here?"

"I heard."

"I just didn't feel very well. Xander should have mentioned it was just a little thing."

"I haven't talked to Xander." He walked in and sat on the bed next to her. She was wearing a pair of sweats and a T-shirt. "Comfort clothes?"

"I told you, I didn't feel very well."

"I guess finding out your two best friends slept together can do that to a person." He didn't want to look at her and see the hurt in her eyes. But he couldn't control his emotions. Xander had this hold on her that he was afraid he could never break.

"How did you…?"

"Well, not because my girlfriend told me."

She winced. "I would have."

"Willow, I know that you…care about him."

Her green eyes were dulled; the life that normally sparkled out of them was gone. "Xander doesn't love me, Oz. He never did. He never will."

"Maybe not the way you want, but he does love you." He took a deep breath. "Not that I'm sticking up for the guy. As far as I'm concerned, I don't want him to love you. And I really wish you didn't care so much that he doesn't."

"My childhood is over." Her voice still sounded lifeless. "I thought it ended when Buffy came to Sunnydale and I found out all the monsters are real. But it didn't. It didn't end until I realized how much people who say they love you can hurt you. On purpose."

"I'm gonna go out on a limb here Willow and guess it really wasn't about you."

"I know that. But they did it in a place and time that I would be around. They invited me over that night at that time. What was supposed to be a night of fun ended up being something else."

"Maybe they couldn't help it, Willow? Sometimes it gets…difficult."

She sighed, wondering if it would ever get difficult for him to refuse her. "I just don't see how they could…how she could. She's supposed to love Angel. This kind of forever, soul mate, eternal kind of love. How can she do this if she has that?"

"How can you not think Buffy can love two people when it's obvious that you do?" He asked quietly.

"I'm sorry Oz. It…it's just going to take me a while to process the fact that I wasn't special."

"But you are special, Willow. To me."

"Well, Oz, thank you, but it's not quite the same thing."

"I'm sorry I can't be enough for you." He stood to leave.

She reached out to stop him. "Don't go. I'm sorry. I'm sitting here, feeling sorry for myself when I have no right. And no reason. I have you. And I'm very grateful for that."

"But, you're still here, sitting alone in your room crying over him."

"I'm not crying. I've accepted the fact that he doesn't love me. Moving on now."

He took her into his arms and held her. Moving on, but going nowhere.

*****  
"…this time I hurt her more than she loves me…"

Xander turned the radio up and slid on his headphones. Country music. Music for what ails you. He closed his eyes, trying not to picture her face as he'd broken her heart. He tried to imagine what she must have experienced. He tried to imagine her in Oz's arms like that.

He got as far as imagining her naked, sprawled out on his bed, but the image of her with Oz just wouldn't come. He'd have to work on that. Right after he figured out what he was going to do, how he was going to make this up to her. What gift said, "Gee, I'm sorry I slept with our best friend when it's really you I'm in love with?"

He sighed. And what about Buffy? Why had she done it? What, after all this time, had made her think of him that way? Perhaps the romantic way he treated women? Or maybe it had nothing to do with him at all. Maybe it was just about moving on past the vamp and into the real world.

Snapping off the radio, he threw the headphones across the room. He couldn't do this. He wasn't the introspective type. He studiously avoided being the introspective type. That was what he had Willow for.

Except he didn't have Willow anymore. Might not have her ever again. He'd passed her over for her greatest enemy and her dearest friend. No wonder she hated him.

He slipped on his jacket and left the room. His screwed up love life sure was helping Giles in the library. He'd shelved more books since Cordelia's accident than he thought possible. Oh well, with his SAT scores, a second career choice never hurt.

*****  
"You wanted to see me?" Faith stood in the doorway of Giles' office. "I got a message."

"Ah, yes. Buffy was needing someone less likely to suffer from an internal hemorrhage to pummel…er, practice with."

"I'm on it." She headed into the stacks to find the other Slayer. "You enjoying the field trip into the 17th century?"

Buffy sat there, arms on her knees, head bent. "Go away."

"Nice."

"I don't want to talk to you. I talk to you and bad things happen."

"Bad things like what? You bed the Xandman?" Buffy looked up and Faith burst into surprised laughter. "You did. Wow Buff, I didn't know you had it in you. I'm so proud."

"I hurt my best friend in the world by doing it."

Faith waved the thought away. "Bull. You're the Slayer. You save their ass every day of the year. They owe you their lives. If you take it out in a little flesh, I say they have no right to complain."

"I owe them my life. They've saved me so many times. Not just from bad things but from myself and this damn job. They've put their lives on the line. Not because they have to, not like us. But because they want to make the world better. Because now that they know, they can't not fight."

"Then they're stupid. They want to risk throwing their lives away because they might die if they don't? Life is precious. You take what you can, when you can. You learn that, you'll be a much better Slayer."

"No. If I learn that lesson, I'll be like you."

Faith laughed again. "You are like me. You just hide it under fancier clothes and better make-up. You don't believe me, ask Willow."


	5. Chapter 5

"Ah! Willow! There you are. I have some thing that desperately needs your attention. If you could just research this demon," Giles held out the book and pointed to the faded picture. "I would appreciate it."

"I can't."

"Thank you…what?"

"I can't. I just came by to say that I wasn't going to be around so much to help." She smiled at the older man. "I have some other stuff I have to do. Getting ready for college, that sort of thing. I have to get some extra-curricular activities on my transcript so that I can get into a good school. And unfortunately, fighting demons isn't a prerequisite at Stanford or Harvard or even Oxford. I checked."

Giles stared at her as though she'd grown another head. "Is this some sort of joke? Some non-funny idea Xander came up with?"

"No. I have the rest of my life to think about. I can't do this anymore."

"You have to."

"No. No. I don't. I'm not the Slayer." Her green eyes held determination. "If I have free time, I'll come by and help out. But I have to do this."

"If this is about something so childish as what happened between Buffy and Xander…"

She stepped back as though she'd been slapped. "I don't have to justify myself to you. I didn't let down the person who trusted me the most. Ripper." She whirled around and ran out of the library.

"Bloody hell."

*****  
Oz leaned back against the cold metal lockers and sighed. He wasn't sure what he was doing. He wasn't sure what he wanted. Except for Willow. He was getting very tired of fighting for her, because it seemed each time he won, Xander didn't seem to lose.

"Oz." Xander walked up and dialed his combination. "I tried to find you yesterday, let you know Willow went home sick."

"Don't worry. Cordelia found me and told the me real reason."

"Oh."

"But that's not really why I'm here." He ran his hand through his strawberry-blond hair. "Well, it is, but it isn't. I guess I should thank you. What you didn't manage to do with Cordelia, you pulled off with Buffy. She's trying to get over you. She's sure you don't love her and don't want anything from her."

"That's not…"

"I don't care. She has a chance to move on here. She has an opportunity to put the past behind her and find some happiness that you can't ruin with your stupidity. So, I'm asking…If you're really her friend. If you really care about her the way you say you do, leave her alone."

"And you know what's best for her?" Anger, incredulity and sadness filled his voice. "You've only known her a year and you think you can tell what she needs?"

"You've known her your whole life and you can't." Oz shrugged. "I'm the one comforting her now. I'm the one who listens to her cry. I'm tired of it being about you."

"And it's not going to bother her if I just fade out of the picture?"

"I didn't say you shouldn't be her friend. Just let her believe that you don't love her. Just let her believe that friends is all you'll ever be. Let her keep believing that you love Buffy. Because if you give her hope, if you give her the slightest chance that you still have feelings for her…"

"I do."

"And how are you going to act on them? How are you going to let her know? And how long is it going to last, Xander?" He pushed away from the locker and confronted him face to face. "Until someone else catches your eye? You just want her because she's unavailable. She deserves so much better than that. I'm asking you, for her sake, leave it alone."

Xander's eyes were sad. "I don't know if I can."

"Do it for her."

*****  
"So, Miss Rosenberg, you want me to allow you to join the physics club in the middle of your senior year and let you claim a full year?" Principal Snyder chuckled harshly. "And why should I do that?"

"I'm trying to straighten things out, Principal Snyder. I'm trying to get past all the bad things that have happened while I've been here in high school and I can't do that without your help."

"You would have to discontinue your association with that Summers girl."

"I realize that. I've already taken steps to do that."

"And there will be no more outbursts like the other day? No more leaving school without permission after causing an impromptu assembly in the hallway?"

"No sir. I don't anticipate I'll have much to do with Miss Summers or any of her friends anymore." She wouldn't look at him. She wouldn't see the triumph in his eyes. She couldn't think about defecting, leaving her friends at a disadvantage to this man. If she did that, she might have to think about why she was doing it.

"Very well, Miss Rosenberg. If I see that you're following through on these…arrangements, I'll be sure that you get full credit for the physics club as well as for taking over Ms. Calendar's class after her…unfortunate passing." He leaned forward, leering at her from across his desk. "You may go."

"Thank you, sir." She left the room, wanting to distance herself from him as quickly as possible.

He watched her go, letting the door swing shut before picking up the phone. "Yes, Mr. Mayor, I have some good news for you…"

*****  
"Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it…"

Buffy walked into the library and followed Giles' curses to his office. "Hey, what are we damning?"

"Nothing," he snapped.

"Okay, and that was believable."

He sighed and pulled a book off the bottom shelf of the small bookcase in front of him. "Fine, you want to know what's wrong? Willow has decided that she has better things to do than hang around in the library and prevent the end of the world. It might detract from her chances of getting into a good college. I am sitting here going through hundreds of books looking for information on a demon that you may well have to fight."

"Oh." Buffy sat timidly on the edge of the small sofa. "Um…"

"A demon that could show up any second now. And I can't find anything because it's been so bloody long since the bastard has been around. I can't get the computer to do anything for me, Oz is nowhere around to help and you are being glib."

"I'm sorry?"

"Sorry. Great. Just do me a favor? Would you let me know the next time you plan on having intimate relations with anyone so I can prepare myself for the inevitable fallout?"

Tears filled her eyes as she sat listening to his attack. "I'm so sorry that I…"

"No." He sighed. "I'm sorry, Buffy. I'm taking this all badly. I'm frustrated that I can't find the information you may need and my support system spent the morning yelling at me. I don't mean to take it out on you." He sat next to her and patted her knee. "I forget sometimes that you're having a hard time as well."

"I think everybody does." She sniffed back the tears she was determined not to cry. "Faith thinks I've done a good thing, Xander's feeling guilty, Willow hasn't spoken to me, Cordelia thinks I did it on purpose, you're disappointed in me, and I don't even know if Angel and Oz know."

"I'm not disappointed in you, Buffy. You're growing up. You're going to do some things that are good and some that are…less well thought out."

She laughed. "Stupid."

"Yes, well, however you want to say it." He smiled down at her. "But you'll survive these things like you survive everything. Perhaps a little worse for wear, like the rest of us. But also, perhaps, a little smarter and a little stronger."

"Giles, Willow is my friend. How do I make something like this up to her? It's not like she's a demon I can just slay. I hurt her."

"How has," he paused briefly, "Angel made up for his…Angelus' actions? You just have to keep trying to do the right thing. You have to keep helping and working no matter how resistant the person your trying to help is."

"In other words, you want me to thank him for the books?"

He smiled, a burst of laughter lightening his face. "Yes. That would be wonderful."

"Okay."

"And as for Willow, she'll eventually come around." He stood and walked back to the book on his desk. "Hopefully sooner than later. Just stay away from her if she brings up Hecate, would you? I don't need Ratty, the vampire slayer running around again."

"Gotcha. No rats." She touched his shoulder to thank him. "But maybe you could stock up on the cheese?"


	6. Chapter 6

"The blood ritual is ready?"

"Yes sir."

"You do plan on getting it right this time, don't you? I don't want the debacle we had last time."

"No sir. I mean, yes sir, I do plan to get it right. Nothing will avert the destruction this time."

"I hope not. Now, I've gone to great lengths to ensure that things on the school front are going the direction we want them to. The Rosenberg girl is out of the way, so there should be no problem."

"I promise sir, the ritual will go according to plan."

"You said that last time."

"I realize that sir."

"Don't let me down. I don't feel particularly generous this week. One mistake and be assured you will be the sacrifice." The mayor hung up the phone, pleased with the conversation. So few people these days were capable of good threats. Not to mention making good on a threat.

Perhaps that was an idea for a campaign promise. Although, if everything went well with this ritual, campaigning was really just a formality.

*****  
Music throbbed in the air outside the Bronze. Buffy and Faith made their way through the crowd to their usual table. Xander sat there, looking forlorn. Faith watched as Buffy headed for his right side before heading to the left to surround him.

"Hey lover."

He gulped, his eyes hunted. "Hey, um, Faith. Buffy. No slaying tonight?"

"We had other plans," Faith ran a finger along his jaw line. "Wanna join us?"

"I…" the music stopped and applause filled the club. Oz set down his guitar and made his way over to the table, a look of pure disgust on his face.

He glared at Xander. "So, I can tell you're heartbroken." He nodded to the two Slayers. "I take it you're planning on doing what I asked?"

"Hey Oz." Willow walked up and slid her arm around his waist. "I got a table over there." She barely cast a glance at the table's other occupants as she led him across the room.

"Well, I think we're all getting along fine." Faith smiled. "Come on, Xander. Dance with me. Now that you know how to make love, dancing should be a hell of a lot easier."

His mouth gaped like a fish as she took his hand and led him to the floor. Insinuating herself against him, she proceeded to make dancing a full contact sport.

"Steal your guy?"

Buffy sighed, looking toward the heavens. "Of course. Cordelia. It wouldn't be a party without Cordelia throwing her two cents in. You know, as much fun as this is, I'm gonna have to take a pass."

"You know, I know what she's going through. It's kind of funny, since she's the one who put me through it. But I'll give you a word of advice. It doesn't go away. You have to work at it." Her dark eyes seemed sad to Buffy. "I don't like you guys much anymore, but I can appreciate what you do. And you need her to help you do it. So, if you want me to talk to her, I will."

"I can see it now. A knock-down, drag-out cat fight, both of you denying you want him the entire time." A ghost of a smile crossed Buffy's lips. "Thanks, but no thanks. We can get by without her until she gets over this. If she really loves him, she's either going to have to stake a claim or let him go."

"That's convenient. It gets you out of any trouble there, putting the blame on her. You know, maybe we're more alike than I thought." She watched Xander and Faith out of the corner of her eye. "What is with you two now?"

"We're just friends. Friends who made a big mistake."

"Don't sound too upset about it."

Buffy shrugged. "I care about him. And even if I didn't do the right thing, I think I did it for the right reasons."

"Because you love him? Because you couldn't stand not touching him? Because he makes your heart sing?"

"Because…"

"That's what I felt. As wrong and as crazy as it was, that's how I felt about him. But I never slept with him. And after we got caught the first time, I certainly didn't do anything where I thought Willow would walk in on it." Cordelia smirked. "Maybe, in the long run, I'm a better friend to her than you are. Which, you know, would really piss her off. Maybe I'll go remind her of that."

"Don't." Something in her voice stopped Cordelia. She looked back at the Slayer, a wave of sorrow sweeping over her. Buffy really had been through a lot. Maybe she did deserve a little slack.

But then jealousy kicked in. Bad enough that Xander moved on with Willow before she was finished with him, but now the whole school knew he was scoring left and right. She loved him. And it had gotten her absolutely nothing.

"Don't tell me what to do, Slayer. I'm not afraid of you."

*****  
Willow held Oz's hand tightly, deliberately not looking at the dance floor. She could have forgiven him for Faith. "So, I joined the physics club today."

"Oh?" Oz smiled, although it couldn't block the worry in his eyes. "You did?"

"Yeah. I thought I needed something to occupy my time after school. And I'll need that kind of thing on my transcript for college."

"I thought after school meant library. And during school for that matter."

"Not anymore. I have to think about me."

"Kinda selfish, isn't it?"

She looked up, surprised. "I'm not going to spend the rest of my life here. I have dreams, plans, aspirations. Shouldn't I be allowed to act on those?"

"Look, Will, I realize that you're hurting here. But punishing Sunnydale and all the other people that you could save by not helping Giles research stuff is petty."

She took her hand from his and folded her arms over her chest. "You think I'm being petty?"

"That's not…"

"How would you feel if I slept with Devon?"

"What?"

"Or Xander. How did you feel when you found me with Xander? You weren't exactly Mr. Forgiving right away. And we were just kissing." She stood up, angry and hurt. "So, if I'm petty, I think I have a right. I have a right to be hurt and upset."

"He wasn't your boyfriend." Oz's tone was matter of fact, despite the fact that his stomach was tight with pain. "No matter how much you may want it. He isn't your boyfriend. You have no claim on him. You have no right to be upset. Even if Buffy knew that you loved him, you can't expect him to just wait for you. And you can't expect everybody else to, either."

"So you're saying it's okay. I should just forgive and forget?"

"There's nothing to forgive, Willow. They didn't cheat on you."

She took several steps back, her face a mask of pain. "I have to go."

"I want to stand beside you here, Willow. But I can't let you keep blaming them for doing something not wrong. Just because someone is your first love, doesn't mean they belong to you."

"I have to go." She turned and ran from the club, a tight rein on her emotions.

Oz buried his head in his hands. "That went badly."

*****  
Angel felt her brush past him, her breathless apology choked with tears. Casting a quick look at Buffy, sitting silently alone, he turned and followed Willow into the night.

As they passed the graveyard, him a few feet behind her, she stopped. "Is someone there?" Her hand gripped the cross in her pocket tightly.

"It's me."

His voice carried on the wind. "Will you please stop following me, Angel? Either walk up here beside me or go away. I don't particularly care which."

"I'll walk with you."

"I was pretty sure you were going to say that." She resumed walking, staring at her feet. Her whole body ached. She'd just broken up with Oz. Or he'd broken up with her. One way or another, there was much less dating going on.

"Do you want to talk about what's wrong?"

"No."

"I might be able to help." Angel tried to catch her eye. "I'd like to help you, Willow."

"You can't. Nobody can. Oz and I just split up." She fingered the cross; almost wishing something would jump out at them so she could take out all this anger. "And I'm not exactly getting along with Xander and Buffy right now."

"Why not? Is everything okay? Is Buffy okay?"

Or she could take out her anger on him. She threw the cross so that it hit him squarely in the chest. It bounced off his jacket. He looked at her, shocked.

"Willow? What the hell was that?"

"You want to know how Buffy is?" Sobs wracked her body and her tears fell freely once again. "Why don't you ask Xander? He's the one sleeping with her!"

With vampire speed, he grabbed her before she could run off. "What?" Her whole body trembled, so he picked her up. "I'm taking you home. But you're going to explain yourself."

She lay stiffly in his arms, letting his strength support her as she cried. She didn't care if she cried anymore. She had enough to cry about. She was tired of being strong. She was tired of stepping aside. She looked up at him, his face shadowed as he glanced down at her.

She reached up and slid her hand behind his neck. Straining forward, she breathed softly against his mouth. And kissed him.


	7. Chapter 7

Angel pulled back from the kiss, practically dropping her in the process. "What are you doing?"

She bowed her head, but not before he saw the self-loathing in her eyes. "Nothing. Just being stupid I guess. Why would anyone want me? After all, there's Buffy and Cordelia and Faith out there."

"Oz loves you, Willow."

"Does he?" She didn't look at him, just put her key in the lock. "Go on, tell me Xander does too. Reassure me that someone out there is going to look at me and realize that I'm a great, wonderful, caring, sexy person. And then find that someone and tell them I'm hung up on the one man I can never have. Would you do that for me, Angel?"

"So love is not that easy," he began. "But whatever is meant to be will happen."

"Back to cryptic guy, huh? Well, I have enough trouble figuring out the normal guys in my life, so thanks for the escort, but feel free to go back to your Slayer. If you can pry Xander off of her." She slammed the door shut behind her and slid the lock into place.

*****  
The cave glowed with an eerie, iridescent light. The short, bald man tentatively lit the last of the 1000 candles required and stood back to survey his handiwork. They had to burn for 24 hours before the wax would work it's magic.

He gazed at the picture of the demon carved into the sheer rock face of the cave. The eyes seemed to burn with hatred as the candlelight hit the black stone. He turned and stared at the opposite wall. The same demon face was carved there although it seemed much less malevolent.

He set the blood splattered linen fabric down on the ground, adjusting it so it sat in the center of the incense circle. Lighting the four elemental symbols, he sat on the fabric and closed his eyes.

Then the night began to chant.

*****  
Giles threw the book across the room, his own frustration at an all time high. The binding split and several pages scattered across the library floor. Cursing in Latin, he crossed the room to pick them up. One had landed on the keyboard of the computer.

Sitting in front of the hated machine, he turned it on. "All right, Jenny. If you're there, I need you. I need you to guide me."

"Seen the Princess Bride a time or two too many?" Buffy entered the library and sat next to him. "This is, by the way, how pathetic my life has become. I'm here in the library with you when there's absolutely nothing going on."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. The books Angel dropped off had little information on the creature I think will be coming to town for a stay, but they did contain something that led me to the right area of research."

"But?" She gazed at the computer's start up screen. "I have very little idea of what you just said, but I know I heard a 'but' in there."

"I'm afraid the book burning claimed most of the texts I need. And since I'm on the outs with the Watcher's Council, they're reluctant to replace them."

"So you need Internet access."

"Which I have. I can access it."

"You just don't know how." Buffy tried not to laugh at the terrified expression on his face. "Have you tried talking to Willow? Calling her?"

"There's no answer at her house."

Buffy had seen Angel follow her, so she wasn't worried. "Well, Oz was at the Bronze looking a lot down in the dumps. Maybe he'd be willing to help out?"

"Willow wasn't with Oz?" Giles looked up startled. "Another casualty?"

"I'm raking 'em up faster than Private Ryan." Buffy moaned. "If I had known…"

"Hindsight is always 20/20, my dear. Don't berate yourself." Giles' heart went out to her. "Why don't you just try to find Oz and see if he would be willing to help us until we're able to get Willow to come to her senses?"

"I'll be back."

*****  
As soon as Buffy had walked out, Faith had let Xander go. He sighed with relief and hightailed it back to his table. He glanced surreptitiously over at Willow's table. Gone. And Oz did not look happy. Great. Maybe he could set a record for how many times he managed to break them up.

His eyes traveled the room and caught sight of Cordelia. She was sitting at a table with some friends, but whenever she looked his direction, she seemed sad. He was getting really good at hurting the people he loved.

"May I join you?"

Xander looked up. "Sure, dead guy."

"Where's Willow?"

Something in the question made Xander look at him. "You sound like you know."

"Yeah. I do. I followed her home to make sure she didn't get herself killed. Although, I imagine if I wanted you to suffer guilt as bad as I do, I could have left her alone."

"Is there a point here? Besides the end of your fangs?"

"Let's talk about Buffy."

He groaned inwardly. He should have remembered. Never cross Willow. She always had the best revenge. Normally he'd escaped because of her feelings for him, but he still shouldn't have let himself forget. "What about her?"

"I heard a rumor."

"Yeah? What was that? She's moved on to the living? She's found a guy who won't bring about the end of the world whenever she gets a hankerin'? Look, I'm tired. I'm tired of defending myself. You want a fight? You want to drain me? Whatever? It can't be worse than the fact that my best friend won't even look at me."

Angel smirked. "I'll try to scrounge up some pity for you."

"I don't want your pity. I don't want anything from you."

"Except Buffy."

"No. I don't even want her."

Oz slid onto the seat next to Angel. Seeing the vampire join Xander, he'd decided he might enjoy the conversation. "Right. You never want anything you can have."

"Great. Wolf-boy, dead-boy. I feel like I'm in the middle of a Universal monster tour. I'm going home."

Buffy put her hand on his shoulder to keep him in his seat. "Not yet. We need some help in the library. Mostly computer help, so Oz, if you could fill in for your girlfriend? But Xander, Angel, I get the feeling there's some bad mojo on the rise, so I figure you can help too." She met Angel's eyes reluctantly. Betrayal was there, but it was tempered with something else. "Please?"

*****  
Snuggling under the covers, Willow tried to drift off to sleep. Not that sleep had brought any relief last night. Her overactive subconscious had treated her to vivid dreams of Xander and Buffy's future together. She'd been fooling herself all along, she knew that now. Who would pick her over the Slayer?

She turned over onto her stomach and forced her eyes closed. Memories of her childhood danced there, filled with hope and excitement and dreams. Back when he'd just belonged to her and whatever other girl he had a crush on. She'd been an idiot back then too.

Sighing, she turned onto her side. "Think happy thoughts, Rosenberg. You're going to give yourself nightmares."

She lay like that for hours, until she finally fell into an exhausted sleep.

"Come to me my child, come to me and let me wash away your tears. Come and let the betrayal be swept away."

She sat up and looked around the room. It flickered with candlelight, making shadows dance on the walls.

"Who's there?"

"Come to me. Let their sacrifice be in vain. I need you, Willow. I love you. I don't care that he rules your heart. I don't care that others consume your thoughts. Love them both, Willow. But come to me?"

The singsong pleading echoed over and over in her head.

"How can you not care that I love someone else? Two someone elses?"

"Because I love you. I want you. I need you. Only you. You're my only love."

"I don't know you."

"Come to me. Come to me. You'll learn. You'll learn. Come to me."

"I can't."

"Close your eyes. You'll come. You'll know. Don't let them win."

"Who?"

The singing faded slowly, the last notes lingering like the scent of some perfume. "Come to me."

Willow awoke with a start, her body soaked with sweat. She struggled to control her breathing and her heartbeat. She threw back the covers and headed for the showers, determined not to think about the dream that was quickly fading from her memory.


	8. Chapter 8

"We really need Willow here." Oz gestured to the screen. "I can get to the sites, but they're not going to let me in without her password or hacking skills. I tend not to hack. Too much effort."

"Surely there's something you can do?"

Oz sighed. He'd planned on spending a nice, romantic weekend with Willow. He'd dug around in his attic and found a picnic basket, he'd borrowed enough money from his mom to buy food, he'd packed the blanket, candles and glasses in his van, and he'd gotten her parent's permission to steal her away for a whole day. He'd been eagerly anticipating it. He'd intended on spending the next two nights getting up his courage to tell her he loved her. To actually say the words to her, to hopefully hear her say them back.

Instead, he was here in the library. Occasionally glaring at Xander, which was actually giving him some enjoyment. Perhaps it was the wolf in him that liked seeing him squirm. That, coupled with the fact that Angel was giving off enough animosity to set the library on fire, made it interesting, even if it wasn't romantic.

Willow. He loved her to distraction. But no matter what he seemed to do, he couldn't get * him* out of her head. Maybe he needed to abduct her and do one of those deprogramming sessions. He laughed to himself, somewhat sadly, wondering if even that would work.

Xander ducked behind the bookcases in the back. He really needed to get the hell out of there before Angel and Oz both decided he looked like dinner. Giles didn't look all that pleased with him, either. Pulling a book off the shelf, he sighed. "What does this demon do again Giles?"

"We're not quite sure. If he's brought about incorrectly, he is just an avenger of slighted love. He searches for those who have treated love cavalierly…"

"Cava-what?"

"This is all based on some strange mythology, so bear with me?"

"Well, use smaller words."

"Fine. He searches for those who have ignored love and tries to woo them in the guise of the mistreated."

"Huh?"

Angel sighed heavily even though he didn't need to. "Are you purposefully stupid? If he's good, he comes after you and seduces you disguised as Willow."

"Oh." He thought about being seduced by Willow, a smile spreading across his face. A demon disguised as Willow. "Oh. Eww."

"Took him long enough," Oz muttered.

"Well," Xander shook his head, trying to remove the image from it. "What if he's brought about correctly?"

"That's what we have to find out. For the past 1500 years, it appears the ritual has been done wrong. So we're trying to find out what happens if it's done right." Giles sighed as he looked over Oz's shoulder to see the boy's lack of progress. "I just hope we find out in time."

*****  
She felt haggard. She took another shower as soon as she woke up, but her whole body ached. Her head throbbed with an agonizing headache and if she could trust her reflection, she looked worse than she felt. Dull and glassy eyes stared back at her, the normally deep green color flat and lifeless. She hoped fervently that she wouldn't run into Cordelia. The last thing she needed right now was an assault on her wardrobe and make-up skills.

"Willow, honey? Are you leaving for school?"

"Just about. I have to get my books." She walked into her room and grabbed her backpack. She staggered as the smell of sulfur seemed to wash through the air. Coughing, she backed out quickly and ran down the stairs. Her heart was beating double time and she practically ran into her mother.

"What's the matter, Willow?" Sheila Rosenberg grasped her daughter's shoulders to steady her. "You look so pale honey. One would think you just saw a ghost."

"No, I'm fine Mom. I just almost tripped when I came down the steps. I'm okay." She followed her out to the car, trying desperately not to think about the demonic image she thought she'd seen carved in her bedroom wall.

*****  
"Um, Giles? I hate to tell you this, but it's morning." Buffy rubbed her eyes, squinting in the beam of sunlight. Looking at the clock behind the circulation counter, she yelped in surprise. "Giles! It's 7:30 in the morning! We have school! In a half hour!"

The Watcher blinked rapidly, pretending for all he was worth that he hadn't been asleep. "What?" He sniffed and adjusted his glasses. "What did you say?"

Buffy gathered her things and nudged Oz. He pulled his head off the keyboard, rubbing the indentations in his skin. "Wha? Buffy? Oh God. Did we…"

"No." She shook her head. "We're in the library. Remember? Research. No sleeping. Well, okay, there was sleeping, but not of that sort."

"Oh, okay. Um, why are we sleeping?"

"We're not. We're going to be late for school." As she stared at the dust motes dancing in the sunlight, another thought hit her. "Oh God! Angel?"

"Don't worry, he left hours ago." Xander came out from his hiding place in the stacks. "At least I think it was him. Some creature of the night snuck out before sunrise, and since we're all still human, Oz excluded of course, I'm guessing it was him."

"Why did he let us sleep?" Buffy pulled out her compact to check exactly how horrible she looked. Cringing at what she saw, she snapped it shut.

"Maybe he was just as tired as we were," Oz offered, back to glaring at Xander. "And self preservation was tops on his list. Not like he could just wake up like we could. His sensitive skin always reacts badly to the sun, remember?"

She took a deep breath, glad of the knowledge that he was safe. She closed her eyes for a moment, realizing that, perhaps, the kiss she'd dreamed about could have been real. "Well, I'm going to go out on a limb and say this is not going to be the Scooby gang's day to win best dressed."

"At least there are no school pictures." Xander joined them and picked up his jacket. "I'm going to the locker room and taking a shower. Hopefully the jocks are still practicing and I'll be left alone."

Giles walked into his office to start a very strong pot of tea. "I think Xander is right, you should all go freshen up. You have a whole day of school to get through. If any of you sees Willow, please ask her to contact me? It is imperative we have her help. As much information as we found last night, it is not enough. And you need to know what you're up against."

"I realize that. And if I see Will, I promise big apologies. I don't want to find out this demon guy is invincible half way through the fight. I may be the Slayer, but I'm not above admitting I need help." She saw their looks of disbelief and pouted. "Okay, I'm not always above admitting it. Just most of the time." Seeing that they weren't buying it, she shrugged. "I'm going to go clean up."

*****  
Willow stood on tiptoe and peered into the library. It was bathed in the morning sun, peaceful looking. No one would suspect it existed on top of the mouth of hell. Nobody appeared to be inside. She took a deep breath and put her hand on the door.

"Good morning, Miss Rosenberg."

"Good morning, Principal Snyder." She took a step back, holding her books close to her chest.

"Doing a little early morning research? Or are you already going back on our agreement?"

"No. I have some books that belong to G…Mr. Giles, and I wanted to return them."

"Belong to Mr. Giles? Or to the library? I'd hate to think he was loaning out books not approved by the school board." He held out his hand. "I'd be happy to return them for you, I'm sure you have a class or two you should be attending?"

She nodded, handing the books over to him. Fortunately they had relatively tame titles and fake checkout cards. "They belong to the library, of course. Mr. Giles is just always here, I think of the library belonging to him."

"I'd have to say he probably agrees with you." Snyder smiled down at the girl, a frightening sight in itself. "Run along now, Miss Rosenberg. I'll see you at the physics club meeting this afternoon?"

"Right." She stepped back, holding her smile firmly in place. Walking past him, she sighed and headed for her class. She wanted to talk to Giles about her dream and the image she'd seen this morning. Something was going on, and she had a sneaky suspicion she was in the middle of it.

*****  
Buffy walked into her English class, pleased to see Willow sitting in her regular seat. Xander was sitting in front of her, so Buffy took the seat across the row. "Hey Willow."

The redhead ignored her.

"Did you sleep well? You look a little…"

"Leave me alone, Buffy."

"I'm really sorry, Willow. I never meant to hurt you. Ever."

"You never mean to. Just like he never means to. But you did. And you do." She looked over at her. "I realize you risk a lot for us, for all of us. I never knew it was a debt we had to repay. I thought that us risking our lives beside you was payment enough."

Buffy looked at her in surprise. "I didn't take anything from you. He doesn't belong to you."

Xander swallowed hard. "Um, girls, can we not talk about me like I'm not here? And can we just not talk about me?"

"Shut up, Xander." Buffy snapped. "Could you do me a favor and get over yourself, Will? You're starting to act like Cordelia and as amusing as that's not, I don't need it. I said I was sorry you got hurt and I am. But I'm not going to apologize for what we did because we did what we wanted to. And I'm real sorry you're having trouble dealing with that. Maybe it's time you realized he doesn't love you. Someone as smart as you should have figured that out, I don't know thirteen or fourteen years ago."

Xander moaned and buried his head in his hands. He really needed everyone to stop defending things he did.

"I do realize it. I just thought maybe friendship meant a little something more than your hormones. Should have known better."

"Please. You did the exact same thing. Need I remind you about the little episode in the Factory? As I recall, you were both cheating at the time. So get off your moral high horse."

"Buffy?" Xander turned to face both girls. "I know you have issues here, we all do, but as I recall, we're supposed to be begging for her help to solve the little demonic mystery we're up against."

Willow laughed. "I see, you need me. Is that it?"

Xander didn't even flinch at the double-edged question. "We always need you, Willow."

"Well, I don't need you. So Sunnydale's just going to have to get by without my help." Picking up her books, she left the room.

Xander glared at Buffy, his anger rivaled only by his own monumental stupidity. "Great. Nice apology."

"Shut up, Xander."


	9. Chapter 9

Willow crawled under the teacher's desk in the computer room. There were no classes here during this hour, so she was most likely going to be left alone. The conversation with Buffy had hurt. Hurt worse than finding her with Xander.

Even though it was partially her fault, the anger threatened to consume her. She closed her eyes and leaned against the cool metal. Why was this all happening? What had she done that made life suddenly decide that she deserved to be punished? She'd gotten over Xander, moved on. She'd been happy with Oz. Then homecoming and the fluke had happened. Life had gotten progressively worse from there.

Why did having her childhood dream come true ruin her life?

She sighed and opened her eyes. And screamed.

*****  
A crowd gathered at the door to the computer lab. The school nurse elbowed her way through it followed closely by the smaller figure of Principal Snyder. Willow was huddled under the desk curled up in a ball. The nurse placed a cool, soothing hand on her shoulder. "Willow? Willow? Can you hear me?"

Shivers were her only response.

Casting a worried glance at the principal, the nurse tried again. "Willow? It's Nurse Simpson. Are you okay, honey?"

Snyder stood and made his way back to the door. He glared at the students and they began making their way back to their classes. The last stragglers were exactly who he expected. "You. Summers. Harris. Come here."

They walked into the lab, curious. Buffy's eyes quickly surveyed the room looking for any signs of demonic or other Hellmouth-ish activity. Xander, seeing the red hair beneath the nurse's hand, went immediately to the desk.

"Willow?" He pushed the nurse out of the way and brushed the auburn tresses out of her eyes. "Willow, it's me. It's Xander."

"…Xander?" She whispered.

"Yeah. Are you okay?" He knelt down to hear her better.

"I saw it. It was coming for me," she sobbed.

"What did you see, Wills?"

Her head snapped up, her eyes blazing. "Get away from me."

Xander fell backwards, shocked by her sudden change. "What?"

She pushed past him, frenzied. "You and you," she pointed at Buffy. "Both of you just stay away. You're the cause of all of this." She closed her eyes, swaying slightly as the image of two obsidian black eyes burned into her mind. "You started it," she sobbed and ran from the room.

Buffy and Xander stared at each other bewildered. "She's wigging."

Buffy nodded. "I think we'd better…" she stopped as she realized Snyder was smirking at her. "…get back to class. We've done what Principal Snyder wanted us to. We got her out from under the desk. And I think we should go. Back to class. Where they teach us stuff. Don't you?"

"Class. Class is good." Xander nodded, taking Buffy's hand and guiding her past the principal. "I have gym."

"Me too. No. No gym. English is over. I have study hall. I must study." They walked down the hall, turning at the first corridor they came to. "I'm going to the library. Something is way up and it has nothing to do with what we did. Willow is seriously freaking and no matter how much she likes you, she's not about to have a nervous breakdown over you."

"Thanks, I think."

"You should maybe follow her?"

"I don't know Buffy. I think Snyder kept us there deliberately so we couldn't. I say we find Oz and make him do some serious hacking. He may not like to, but if he really cares about Willow, he's going to have to put forth some effort."

"Do you know what class he has now?"

"No. But I know Willow's locker combination. I'll find him and we'll meet you in the library. Have Giles call Faith and if you see Cordelia, try to impose on her decency." Xander smiled. "Tell her I'll let her kick my ass when it's all over if she helps us."

"You promise?"

Both Buffy and Xander turned at the comment. Cordelia stood there, her usual stunning self.

Xander nodded. "Oh yeah. I even promise not to enjoy it."

"I'll help."

*****  
Willow ran. She ran past the library and a very stunned Giles out the doors of the school. The dark eyes were haunting her, taking everything in as though they were seeing through her. She closed her eyes and her head filled with a thundering roar.

Opening her eyes caused the roar to subside. But it did nothing to keep her from running into the tree.

*****  
The candles had burned well over halfway and the cave was alive with shadows. The blood stained cloth still sat in the ring of incense now burned to ash and embers. The eyes of the carving seemed to pulse in the light and the demonic visage seemed to grin across the room to its less vicious counterpart.

The room throbbed with constantly building energy; tendrils of acrid smoke drifting out into the early spring air. The image seemed to move, the rock around it beginning to shift and crumble.

And still the candles burned.

*****  
Buffy grabbed Giles' arm and yanked him into the library. He'd been standing in the hallway staring at the far doors. "What's with you?"

"Willow."

"Willow? Where?" Buffy set him in a chair and looked at him, worry in her eyes.

"She ran past me several minutes ago. She seemed frightened. I couldn't react. I couldn't stop her. It was as though she were possessed."

"Well, I may be agreeing with you."

Giles snapped out of his trance. "What?"

"She totally wigged on us. She was in total bitch mode during English."

"And you apologized?" Something in Giles' tone let her know he knew what her answer would be.

"I meant to." She sank into her own seat. "It didn't turn out so well. She left class. The next thing we know, there's a gathering outside the computer lab and Snyder calls me and Xander over to help get Willow out from under the desk where she's curled up into a ball."

"I see."

"So, I'm scoping the room out for demons, vamps, anything that goes bump during the day while Xander manages to catch her attention. She's fine for a minute and then she just went ballistic."

"Meaning?"

"Can you speak in real sentences?" Buffy hunched down into her chair. "She said that we did this and it was coming for her. Then she ran out of the room. Xander is getting Oz, Cordelia said she'd be here in a minute. We've got to figure out what is going on. Because I think it's gone way beyond what Xander and I did."

"Perhaps. But perhaps what you did was a catalyst that allowed this to happen."

"Because I need more guilt?"

"I told you last night this demon is an avenger of slighted love when he is benevolent."

"Right. He lays the whammy on stupid people who don't see love in front of their faces."

"Exactly. When he's nice." Giles rubbed the bridge of his nose. "We have no idea what he's capable of when he's not nice. When he's stark, raving mad. When he's a pissed off demon, roaming the streets looking for slighted love and possibly killing people!" Giles realized he was shouting and forced himself to calm down. "Although we don't know that. I've placed several phone calls. Most of which haven't been returned since I have been tainted by caring about what happens to you and your blasted friends."

"I'm sorry," she offered.

"I don't mean to yell or be upset." His clenched teeth belied his statement. "However, we must find out what is going to happen before it does. If this demon is using Willow, I think it's safe to say that everyone would be unhappy with the potential results."

"I don't think I would be." Cordelia walked into the library. "Well, I take that back. Just don't let anyone know." She shrugged. "What can I do to help?"

"Research."

"Oh goody. I haven't had a dust bath in so long." She picked up one of the books on the table and thumbed through it. "Someone want to tell me what I'm looking for?"


	10. Chapter 10

Two men in dark suits lifted Willow's prone body and set it gently in the van. A woman dressed all in white pressed a cold cloth to the swelling bump on her forehead. The young girl stirred slightly. "Shh. It will be all right."

"Where am I?"

"Safe. You're safe."

"I don't feel safe." She struggled to sit up but failed miserably. "I feel woozy." She giggled. "Woozy."

"Take these. They'll make you feel better." The lady in white held two small pills to her mouth. "You can trust me."

"You look like an angel. Except the only Angel I know wears black and used to be evil. Are you evil?"

"No. I'm not evil."

"Angel was evil, but now he's good again. But he doesn't want me kissing him. I'm not to be an Angel kisser." She swallowed the pills, trying not to gag on their acrid taste. "Icky."

"I know, dear. But they'll make you feel better."

Willow opened her eyes to stare up at her angel. An angel with obsidian black eyes.

*****  
"Shit." Xander slammed Willow's locker shut and pressed his forehead against it. If he were Willow, where would he keep his boyfriend's schedule? "Shit."  
"Looking for something?"

Xander looked up at the dry question. "You." He nodded happily. "Yes."

Oz raised an eyebrow. "You're looking for me? The world must be ending."

"If that weren't so possible, it would be funny. Willow's in trouble. Are you gonna help or stand here and crack jokes all day?"

"Library?"

"Library." Xander explained the activities of the day as they made their way to their second home. "We really need you to do some hacking."

"I did some earlier today in the computer lab, obviously before Willow decided to pay a visit. I think I have something we might be looking for."

"Good. Because I don't have to tell you what will happen if anything hurts her."

"No. You don't." Resentment still tinged Oz's voice, but he looked Xander in the eye. "This isn't over between us. But for her sake, we'll put it all aside."

"Right." Xander entered the library and joined the group. Oz headed for the computer to pull up the information he'd found earlier.

"You know something?" Buffy asked him, leaning over his shoulder.

"Maybe. I don't really know if it means anything or if it's going to help." Oz pulled up a page and showed it to Giles. "This corresponds with what you told us yesterday. It might be a jumping off point."

Giles skimmed the page. "Anteros."

"Who?" Cordelia asked.

"Anteros is the god of slighted love in Greek mythology. Brother to Eros and Himeros. Together, the three brothers represented the three aspects of love. Himeros represents the longings of love. Eros is the more sensual and potentially cruel aspects. Anteros is associated with both mutual and slighted love."

"I'm guessing this isn't about mutual love?" Buffy asked.

"Unless we're talking the mutual love of a boy and his slayer," Cordelia muttered.

"I doubt very seriously we're talking about any of them. I think Oz is correct that there is something in this myth that may help lead us to the demon we're researching, but I doubt we can base too much information on just this. Can you do some more…searching?"

Oz nodded. "Anything in particular?"

"Sacrifices made in the names of these gods, cults, sects, anything."

"I'm on it."

"Buffy, would you and Cordelia go and get some of the book out of the mythology section? I've been concentrating primarily on demonology. We may find something of use in that field of study. Xander? Would you come with me?"

*****  
She grumbled in her sleep as the movements of the van stopped abruptly. The back doors opened and the two men lifted her out. Carrying her into the cave, they carefully stepped over the incense and lay her on the bloody cloth.

"You're sure it's the right girl?" The mayor asked from the mouth of the cave.

Snyder nodded. "Yes. She's the one."

"It's going to work this time? I don't want to be disappointed."

"I know. You won't be. She's the one." A small smile distorted Snyder's features. "She's going to wreak havoc like Sunnydale has never seen."

"You got to her before she could help them?"

"Yes. I doubt very seriously they have anything to go on."

"We've doubted the Slayer before. Make sure." The mayor moved into the cave and stared down at the redhead. "She's beautiful." He watched his men lay a fresh circle of powder and set it ablaze. The stench of sulfur filled the room. The candles had just a couple more hours left to burn. "If looks could kill…"

*****  
Xander sat nervously in Giles' office. The Watcher closed the door and his nervousness increased. "What did I do?"

"Nothing." Giles sat at his desk and turned his chair to face him. "Nothing different. I just need to speak to you about what may happen."

"Nothing is going to happen. Nothing is going to happen to Willow." Xander shook his head. "Nothing."

"Xander, we are going up against an enemy we know little to nothing about. And, as much as I hate to think or believe it, I fear that this demon already has some sort of control over her." He took off his glasses and began polishing them with his handkerchief. "I know you have strong feelings for her. You've been her friend for quite a long time."

"I've been her friend forever. And that's why we can't let anything happen to her. This whole past couple of months aside, Giles, she's the reason I am anything. I was a jerk when I was a little kid. A bully. Then one day I met this little red-haired girl, just like Charlie Brown. And I was no longer Alex, that big, mean boy from across the street. I was Xander. I was * her* Xander. I became what she needed me to be. It turned out that I became who I needed to be."

"I know that…"

"No. No one knows. If it weren't for Willow, Buffy would probably have already put a stake through my heart. She's my salvation, my one true thing in this world. She's the only thing that makes any sense at all. So, whatever this demon is, whatever it can do, we have to stop it. We have to save her. Because I refuse to live a life without her in it."

"All right then. You need to go and get Angel."

"What?"

"You need to get Angel. And you need to get Faith."

"No. You're trying to take me out of the picture and I will not allow that." Xander borrowed Willow's resolve face. "If I started this, Giles, I'm going to finish it."

"It won't start until tonight, if it starts today at all. From the signs I'm getting it will be tonight. You have several hours before it gets dark Xander. Do as I ask."

"Angel can't come if it's daylight."

"He can if he sticks to the sewers. Please? You're the only one." Giles weighed the options of telling him the whole truth. Realizing it was his best bet for getting him to agree, he sighed. "Besides, if everything I think is going to happen does, I'm afraid you're going to be right in the middle of it."

"Willow's coming after me?"

"The demon's coming after you. He may use Willow, he may not." Giles met his dark eyes. "He may simply kill her."

*****  
Willow struggled against the lethargy that pervaded her entire body. Her nostrils burned with the smell of sulfur and her whole body felt as though it were melting. But she couldn't move.

"You came. You came."

The singsong voice was back. She rolled her head from side to side in protest. "No…" she moaned.

"I love you. I love you. Let me love you. Let me love you. Let me take the pain away. Let me give your pain away. Let them suffer for your pain."

"No…" she whispered.

"Let them suffer," the voice was now a hiss. "Let them die."

Her eyes snapped open. It was dark, but not completely. She turned her head to see the stumps of hundreds of black candles flickering in the smoke-filled air. A pair of black eyes stared out at her from the wall, but they didn't incite the agonizing fear they had before.

She realized that they were different eyes, different but the same. She stared into them and the singing came back. "Let me love you. Let me love him. Let me give you love."

She turned her head to the other side, trying to block the sound. Again she faced the same eyes, this time glowing with hatred. The sharp outline of a hulking body seemed to be detaching from the wall, the black eyes like fire in the center of it. "You're mine," the voice hissed. "You're mine. They're mine."

Willow felt the tears leak out of her eyes and turned back stare at the ceiling. But the image stared at her from there as well. As if by looking at it, she had given it life.

The voices hissed inside her head, the singing gone. The effects of the drugs began to fade away, and the lethargic feeling was replaced by pure dread as she realized that's exactly what she had done.


	11. Chapter 11

The bleating of the siren filled the normally serene library, startling them all. Cordelia ran for the doors, grabbing one of the running teenagers by the arm. "What's going on?"

"Bomb threat. Everybody's got to get out of the school."

She let him go and turned back to the others. "We've got to bail. Even if it's just a threat, the building inspectors have to come. If we stay, they'll cart us to city hall." At their incredulous looks, she sniffed snobbishly. "Daddy's an architect. I do learn things."

"We can't leave the library." Giles motioned to the stacks. "The books are here. The information we need is here."

"We can't be here." Cordelia walked up to him and glared. "I don't want to go to jail or wherever they send the people who disobey safety laws. Grab some books; grab the info you need, whatever. But grab it and we'll go."

Buffy looked concerned. "Cordy's right. Let's grab what we know we need. We can stop by Willow's house and get her laptop. Then we go back to your house and keep researching." She looked at Giles. "This reeks of someone trying to stop us from discovering what's going on. Let's let them think they have."

"She's right." Oz nodded. "I have my laptop in my van. We can head over to your place right away. Although I think we should go separately. If someone's trying to stop us, we should assume they may be watching us as well."

"What about Xander?" Cordelia asked. As soon as the question left her lips, she regretted it. "Not that I care, but if he's important to this whole deal…"

"We'll see if we can't find him." Giles grabbed his jacket and a handful of books. "Okay, Buffy, take the three there to your left. Cordelia, take these." He handed several volumes to her. "Oz, you take Buffy to my apartment, I'll be there shortly. I need to leave a note where Angel can find it."

Buffy headed for the door, "Who's got Xander and Faith duty?"

"I'll get them," Cordelia offered. "I may as well have some fun, just in case the world does end."

*****  
Xander looked at his watch then pounded once more on Faith's motel room door. She swung it open angrily. He looked her over. Half asleep, wearing nothing but a loosely tied robe. He gulped. "Uh."

"Spit it out, lover. I'm tired."

"World's ending tonight. Want to help stop it?"

"Not particularly," she swung the door shut.

Twisting the knob viciously, he let himself into her room. "Let me rephrase that. Get dressed."

She glanced over her shoulder. He was angry. Good. She liked him angry. "How 'bout I just get undressed?" She undid the belt holding the robe on her body and let it slip to the floor. She turned to face him.

A pair of jeans hit her square in the chest. "Get dressed. We don't have time for this, and even if we did, we wouldn't. I think you're a nice girl Faith, for the most part. But it happened once. And only once."

"Love 'em and leave 'em, hmm Harris?"

"Something like that. Now please, get dressed. We have to get back to the library before nightfall."

"Why? You scared of the dark?"

"Shouldn't I be?"

*****  
Willow shivered as she watched the candles burn. They were almost gone, the black wax dripping onto the floor, curling towards her like oily fingers. One or two of the rivulets had broken through the circle of herbs that surrounded her.

She managed to sit up, curling her legs under her so that her entire body was on the stained fabric. She was pretty sure the stains were blood, but didn't particularly care to know for sure. She wanted to stand and run, she wanted to scream, but something was preventing it. Her muscles felt like Jell-O, her voice was nothing more than a whisper.

She hoped her friends would come for her, but the hope was ever diminishing in the face of the horrible hissing voice that reminded her that her friends had deserted her, betrayed her. They had taken everything that mattered to her and destroyed it.

The hissing never stopped. Her head lolled to the side and she stared into the black eyes. She couldn't tear her gaze away from them. They were so pretty. So deep. So strong. So loving. She fell backwards, her eyes never leaving the wall.

The black wax drew nearer, sensing her acceptance. It tangled in her hair, streaking the auburn with its midnight embrace. She looked down to the feet of the hulking mass of rock. One of the candle flames snuffed out.

And the voices began again.

*****  
Cordelia brought her car to a skidding halt. Wrinkling her nose at the smell of burning rubber, she climbed the steps to Faith's room. Xander stood in the doorway, staring down at his hands.

"She kick you out?"

He looked up in surprise. "She's getting dressed."

"And you had to leave? I thought you and Faith were closer than that."

"Well, you thought wrong." He ran his hand through his hair. "What brings you here?"

"I'm slumming." She felt a pang of loss as she thought about what he had shared - or was it given? - to the girl behind the door. "Actually, there was a bomb threat at the school. We've changed the meeting place to Giles' apartment. I'm your transportation." When he opened his mouth, she held a finger to it. "No jokes. Or I swear to God, I'll push you down those damn stairs. Got it?"

"Got it."

She pulled her finger away, trying to ignore her increased heartbeat. Why? Why did touching him have to have this affect on her? "Good. Tell Slayer slut to get a move on. We've got a lot of work to do before we can save your girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend."

"Right. You don't have a girlfriend." Cordelia headed for her car. "I'll be waiting. But not much longer."

Xander stared after her, wondering if he'd actually heard her sigh or if he'd just imagined it.

*****  
Buffy paced the living room from end to end. "Where are they?"

Oz shrugged. "They'll be here. Xander's not going to let the chance to be a hero slip by. Especially where Willow's concerned."

"Do you hate him?"

"No. I just hate the hold he has on her. I hate the fact that he can be the world's biggest ass and it doesn't change the way she feels about him. I hate the fact that I can give her everything I am and it still might not be enough, because of him."

"But you don't hate him. That's good."

Oz laughed. "It's not him. It's her. And it's him. But mostly it's just circumstance. The situation might be different if I had grown up with her and he came along. Who's to say?"

"Do you believe in fate?"

"I'm friends with someone whose nickname is 'the Chosen One', and you ask me that question?"

"I guess." She looked chagrined. "I just wonder sometimes if it's all predestined or if we have some say in the matter."

"You hold the fate of the world in your hands, Buff. I'm thinking it's safe to say we have some choice in how it all turns out. Like this. Tonight, it's all gonna turn out for the best. Because it has to. Because none of us is going to let some demon take our Willow from us."

She grinned. "I like the way you think."

"Yeah. Me too."

*****  
Giles got into his car and lay his head against the steering wheel. He'd placed a note where Angel was sure to find it, making it cryptic enough that if someone or something else happened across it they wouldn't suspect anything.

A deep and abiding fear clutched his heart. He was at a loss and he couldn't let these children know it. They were marginally closer than they had been this morning to finding out about this demon, but there was still so much they did not know.

Like what it was capable of. And how to stop it.

His mind drifted back to the one night of his life permanently etched in his memory. A night of infinite promise. And infinite sorrow. The night he'd intended to give his heart only to have it wrenched from him. He did not want to see the burden of such sorrow in Xander's eyes. Or in Oz's for that matter. And he knew he could not bear to see Buffy shoulder any more guilt.

They had to find her. They had to destroy this demon before it took Willow from them.

He thought briefly about the young hacker he'd grown so fond of. She was his joy. An old soul in a young, vibrant woman. And he would not disappoint her.


	12. Chapter 12

Several of the candle flames had died out and the cave was growing darker. Willow closed her eyes against the blinding pain stemming from the voices. The voices that kept getting louder and louder the darker the cave got. She turned her head to the left side of the cave. The less demonic visage had faded now, only the outline of the eyes looked back at her.

She struggled to move again, despite her aching muscles. Using her hands, she pulled herself forward, smearing the dark tracks of candle wax. She was not a victim. She'd fought back against scarier things than this. Okay, so Buffy was usually nearer by, but she would come.

"You're friends are gone. They've betrayed you. They don't care. They've left you for dead."

She shook her head, trying to clear it of the voice. Something - some piece of information was trying to get through to her. Something Amy had taught her. Of course, she'd have to be careful. After all, Amy wasn't always reliable. She was still a rat, after all.

Suddenly, Xander's voice rang in her ears. "Which means I won't have to look at your pasty face again."

She fell back to the cloth as though she had been punched. She didn't want to remember what it had been like to have Xander tell her the things that she was so afraid were true.

Again his voice came. "Which makes her not the kind of girl who I think about her lips that much."

She curled up again, his voice harsher than any the demon could devise. She stared down at the inky wax curling toward her and focused her mind. "No." She closed her eyes and thought about the day before homecoming sitting on her bed, his gaze locked with hers.

"It's just…when I look at you now, it's like I'm seeing you for the first time."

The hissing dimmed a bit and she was able to sit up again. Furrowing her brow in concentration, she thought back to walking down the hallway with Oz. "The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that? You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen."

Moving forward, loving thoughts of Xander and Oz at the forefront of her mind, she swept a break in the circle surrounding her. The wax's ability to break through it had convinced her it wasn't a ring of protection, so she wasn't afraid.

Crawling on her hands and knees, she slowly managed her way to the left wall. Fighting a war against the voices in her head, she fell forward, making sure to knock over several candles on her way down.

*****  
Giles got out of his car and lugged a huge box of books into his apartment. Buffy and Oz looked up as the door opened. They both sat behind the computer, perhaps the only two in the bunch to be completely at ease with one another. "Did you find anything?"

"No." Buffy sighed. "You?"

"I managed to gather a few things from the library before the Gestapo arrived. I don't know that they'll help, but they're our best hope."

Oz shook his head. "Nope. No negativity. Buffy and I decided. We're finding Willow, Buffy's killing the bad demon, and we're going to the Bronze. In that order. So, if your attitude doesn't fit with our plans, well, you're just gonna have to get a new one."

Giles smiled. "Very well. Let's find Willow." He set the box on the sofa and handed two volumes to Buffy. "Look up Eros. He's the most famous of the brothers. After that concentrate on the succubi and the incubi. Perhaps this is a sexual demon."

Xander froze in the doorway, causing Cordelia and Faith to bump into him. Cordelia slapped him. "Could you please get your cheap thrills elsewhere?"

"You don't think the demon would…do anything to her, do you?" Xander's eyes were wide with fear. The thought of some *thing * attacking her was something he didn't want to think about.

"No." Giles smiled reassuringly. "Come on. We have much work to do and not a lot of time to do it in. Oz, follow up on Buffy's research. Cordelia, would you make tea?"

"I don't know how." She stated.

Faith laughed. "I'll make tea. Wouldn't want the princess here to soil her lily-white hands. Want to help me, Xander?"

"No." He sat on the sofa and dug through the supply of books in the box. He cast a furtive glance as Oz who shook his head. "Has anyone thought to call Willow's house and see if she's there?"

Giles nodded. "I stopped by. Her mother said she hadn't been home in some time. She then started lecturing me on the male prototype in the family unit. It was rather frightening."

"That's Mrs. Rosenberg." Xander closed his eyes and offered up a little prayer. Please, please let her be all right.

The computer beeped. Oz looked startled. "I got something."

"What?" They all clamored around the machine, trying desperately to see the screen.

"A cult. An offering made to the demon Clothar to appease the three brothers which he served. When the proper sacrifice is made, the proper offering given, Clothar rises to avenge the loves torn asunder." Oz wrinkled his brow. "And I don't understand it yet."

"What does a demon have to do with some Greek gods?" Cordelia looked at Giles. "I mean, this doesn't sound like your typical mythology since that all went away. What did these three gods do to get a demon doing their dirty work?"

Xander smiled. "Cordelia, you're a genius." He hugged her briefly and dug through the box of books again. "Where is it?"

Even Giles stared at him. Xander yelped with glee and pulled a book from the pile.

"Here it is."

"What?" Buffy crowded closer to him to read over his shoulder.

"A poem. I read it and it didn't make any sense, but it mentioned three gods, so it kinda stuck." He cleared his throat and started to read. "Avenged love, though ye be sweet, fall unto thy master's feet. Power faded, Olympus lost. Three gods come to pay the cost. Serve him, serve thee, serve us all. Bring to thee the virgin's fall. Betrayal true of love's sweet kiss. Demons rise, the world amiss."

"And that means?" Buffy turned to Giles.

"Is Willow a virgin?"

All eyes turned to Oz.

*****  
A shower of dust and grime fell on top of Willow. She coughed, trying to catch her breath. She heard a grinding sound and looked up from her spot on the floor. The hulking stone creature was now completely separated from the wall and looming over her.

She "eeped."

"You are my love?" A dry, flaky voice asked.

"No."

"You bear the mark." It knelt beside her and touched her arm. She turned her head to see her sleeve had been ripped away and something had been painted on her skin.

"I hope that's not a tattoo. My parents told me I couldn't get one."

"You are my love." The voice was sure this time. "Are you a willing sacrifice?"

"Um, no sacrificing. I'm so bad at that."

The figure picked her up and carried her to the section of the wall it had come from. A large outline of its body was hollowed out. "You will come with me?"

"No. Please?" She tried to struggle against its granite grip.

Angered by her refusal, the creature threw her forcibly into the hollow area. Upon hearing the satisfying crack of her head against the wall, it proceeded to pick up the few candles still burning and swallow them, flame and all.

*****  
"Ask him," Oz pointed to Xander. "He's her best friend. Surely he'd know."

"Enough." Giles slammed his fist onto the table. "I don't care a whit about your petty jealousies right now. Xander, have you slept with Willow?"

"No."

"Fine. Oz?"

"No."

"Fine. Does anyone else here know if Willow has slept with anyone?" When he received no answer, he let out a relieved sigh. "All right. Oz enter this poem into you search…thing." Giles took the book from Xander and skimmed it over. "Faith, Buffy. You two relax. You'll need all your strength tonight."

"Giles…"

"Buffy. I may not officially be your Watcher anymore, but if you want to save your friend - our friend - will you please listen and not argue?"

Both Slayers sat down silently.

Cordelia looked at him. "What can I do?"

"You and Xander go over this part and the rest of the poem. You've known Willow the longest. You may have the most insight into it. Hopefully, Angel will be here soon and we can begin. As soon as he arrives, we'll need to be ready. So please, hurry."

*****  
The stone demon walked across the cave to its now faded counterpart. "You are weak. Love is weak. Vengeance is strong. Vengeance is mine."


	13. Chapter 13

Xander and Cordelia read the rest of the poem, pointing various things out to each other. Buffy leaned against the arm of the sofa and watched them, her heart aching for what they'd lost. She hoped someday they found it again, if not with each other then with someone else.

She cast a quick glance at Oz, wondering how the normally cool guy was handling the thought of his girlfriend being in trouble. His brow was furrowed in concentration and he was growling at the computer under his breath. Huh. Willow brought out the animal in him.

Faith nudged her with her foot. "You okay?"

"I will be once we get Willow back in one piece." She sighed, angry with herself. She'd been sighing much too much lately. "I keep thinking this is all my fault, and I just want to hug her and apologize for everything I've ever done to hurt her."

"All because of him? He doesn't seem like the kind of guy to inspire that kind of devotion."

"It's hard to explain." Buffy shrugged. "Will's had a thing for him since birth, I think. He, being a typical male, never noticed it until it was too late."

"Seems to me like he doesn't deserve her." Faith picked up a stake and twirled it between her fingers. "Doesn't deserve half of what he gets."

Buffy looked at her friend, the fading strains of sunlight highlighting his worried face. "I don't know. He's always come through for me."

*****  
"It's like this poem was written about Willow," Cordelia whispered. "That's kind of freaky."

"Yeah." Xander skimmed a few passages. "It's like someone has been watching her - us - her whole life and mixing some demon in for good measure."

"I still don't see how knowing how she felt about your betrayal is going to help us stop this demon though." Cordelia looked pointedly at him. "You keep rereading that part. I can just tell you exactly how much it hurts if you really want to know. Okay, maybe you to didn't carry it all the way, or maybe Oz and I just got there before you could, but it was painful. More painful than that damn metal rod."

His apology was in his eyes. "I am so sorry, Cordy. I never meant to hurt you."

"Well, you did. And I'm not over it." She hid her small smile of satisfaction. "So let's just work on this poem thing."

Nodding, and hiding a small smile of his own, Xander turned the page. Several words caught his attention and he felt tears immediately flood his eyes. "No."

"What?"

He looked over at Oz and shared a look of pure horror with the other boy.

"What does it say, Xander?" Oz asked quietly.

Buffy rushed to Xander's side and hugged him tightly. "It's okay. It's going to be okay."

Cordelia picked up the book and gasped as she read the passage. "Oh God."

Giles took it from her. His eyes teared up as well, but he managed to read it aloud in a very shaky voice. "Overlooked, rock is flesh. Saved by one that loves her best. Mentor, Demon, Wolf and Clown. Slay her; blood upon the ground."

"Slay her?" Faith asked.

Giles ignored the interruption and kept reading. "Inside her heart, the demon lies. Kill the vessel, still the cries. Death will stop this evil's rise. Peace will reign as her flame dies."

"That didn't just mean what I think it meant, did it?" Oz held the edge of Giles' desk tightly. "We can't kill her."

"Giles, I can't kill Willow!" Buffy stepped back. "I can't. You can't ask me to."

"I'm not. I'm afraid one of us will have to."

Xander and Oz both shook their heads in unison, petrified now that Giles had apparently gotten the same thing out of the passage as they had. "I can't." Oz shook his head. "Maybe if I was a wolf. But I'm not. Not for weeks. So no. No killing of Willow."

Xander couldn't speak.

"It wouldn't be Willow if a demon has possessed her." They all looked up as Angel came out of the shadows near the doorway. The sun had gone down and they hadn't even noticed. "Trust me on this one."

"She'd still be in there." Oz bit out through clenched teeth. "She would fight it."

"But she wouldn't win." Angel hated the fact that he always seemed to bring them bad news. "I'm so sorry."

"It's night." Xander's voice was cold and hard. "We need to go."

"We…"

"We know how to destroy it, if it comes to that. But I believe we can save her without having to kill her. We have to. I won't let her die, at least not without a fight." His eyes met Oz's then Giles' then Angel's. "I may be the 'clown', but I love her. And I won't let her go."

*****  
"Where do we go?" Cordelia stood huddled against Oz's van. "Do we even know where this thingy is?"

"There was a lot of mention of rocks in the poem. And, according to the net, the three gods worshipped at the feet of two granite demons."

"Oh! I know." Cordelia raised her hand. "I know!"

It was Giles' turn to sigh. "Yes, Cordelia?"

"About ten years ago, Daddy was contracted to work on some office buildings going up right on the outskirts of town. But they couldn't build because when they blasted the land, there were all these horrible caverns, so there was no solid foundation."

"And?"

"They were made out of rock." She smiled smugly. "Daddy said everyone was stumped as to what had made such perfect caves and tunnels out of solid rock."

"It was a hill." Xander nodded. "I remember that now. Willow was upset when they decided to build there because her parents took her there when she was… Cordelia's right. That's where they are."

*****  
Angel sat next to Buffy and took her cold hand in his. She was the Slayer. That was her job. Her job was to kill the demons and destroy all the bad guys that came and tried to take over the world, or at least Sunnydale.

No one told her that one day her enemies would consist of the one man she loved with all her heart and her best friend in the entire world. Why hadn't anyone thought to tell her that? She personally thought it was kind of pertinent information.

"If you have to, it won't be Willow." He tried to reassure her.

"When Ms. Calendar died, it was Angelus that killed her. But he still wore your face and I couldn't destroy him." She turned her haunted eyes to him. "I couldn't kill him because he looked like you and had your voice. She's my friend. My best friend. She knows all my secrets and dreams. She knows what I want to be if I ever get to grow up." Her chin trembled. "I can't kill Willow."

He wrapped her in a hug and simply held her to him. "You're the strongest woman I've ever known, Buffy and you will do what's right. You say you couldn't kill Angleus, but when it came down to him or the world, you saved the world. You even did it the hard way, you had to kill me." He chuckled softly to take the sting out of his worlds. He didn't want to hurt her. He never wanted to hurt her. "You'll do what's right."

"Angel, if I kill Willow - if Willow dies, no matter how, Xander will never forgive me. Neither will Oz." The tears that had been threatening ran down her cheeks. "I won't forgive me. We've all lost so much."

He let her sob against him, not knowing what words would comfort her. He looked up to see Faith watching them. Trying to be strong. He held out his hand, almost surprised when she took it and let him pull her into their hug.

*****  
Oz drove, determination in every line of his face. The poem kept repeating itself in his mind, trying to find something that would make it all go away. Something that said, whoops, the prophecy is wrong. It wasn't even a prophecy. It was a poem. A poem.

He'd once written her a song, but he couldn't find the right music for the lyrics. He'd let her read them and she'd blushed a beautiful shade of pink. "I'm sorry, baby, but I can't find the tune."

She'd shaken her head, and curled up in his arms. "So you didn't write me a song. You wrote me a poem." Her green eyes had shone like stars. "And one day you'll sing it to me and I'll fall for you all over again."

He felt the tears forming in his eyes and blinked rapidly to get rid of them. They would find a different ending to this poem, find the right music to change the tune. He caught Xander's eye in the rearview mirror.

He wouldn't let her go without a fight, either.

*****  
Xander didn't have to look at Oz to know what he was thinking. He felt it in his bones. The poem's only mention of saving her said she had to be saved by the one who loved her best. And that wasn't him. He may love her the most or the longest or the purest, but he didn't love her best.

Oz did.

He treated her the way she deserved. He'd noticed her when everyone else had been too blind to see. He would be the only one who had a chance to save her.

And that pissed Xander off.

It was as though this whole incident was every mistake he'd made all rolled into one, big, demonic heap. The poem had chronicled his transgressions like it was Willow's own diary.

Diary.

"Guys? Could we stop by Willow's house on the way? I have a thought."

*****  
The voices swirled around her like a cocoon, wrapping her in their warm embrace. She moaned and opened her eyes. All of the candles were extinguished but the cave still glowed with some source of light. Stepping out of the indentation left by the demon, she surveyed the area. The creature was nowhere to be seen. She stepped into the ring of herbs and stood on the bloody cloth. Kneeling down, she grabbed a sharp piece of flint.

Her black eyes stared into the night. "Come to me, my loves. Come and rescue me. Let your deaths set me free."


	14. Chapter 14

"Where the hell is it?" Xander hissed under his breath. He cursed the moment Willow had stopped confiding in him. He cursed the day he stopped knowing where she hid her diary.

Buffy lifted the bedspread and searched underneath. "Why do we need her diary?"

"I don't know." Xander pulled open her closet and rooted around in her shoes. The girl owned more pairs of sneakers than a pro athlete. "It's just…the poem, it was like a diary of her life. Except seen from the outside. I thought maybe, if we can find it, her diary and what happened on the inside might give us some insight."

Buffy paused in her search to stare at her friend. "Wow, Xander."

"It's Willow." He closed his eyes and thought for a moment. Where had she hidden things she never wanted him to find? He pictured her hunched over her desk before she got her computer, scribbling like mad in her journal, putting their activities down on paper before a single memory slipped away. He remembered her pulling the book out once to remind him of something he'd said and then denied. "Buffy? Could you break the lock on her trunk?"

"Xander, it looks expensive."

His brown eyes were swimming with tears. "Please Buffy? We don't have much time."

She nodded. Taking a deep breath, she snapped the lock and lifted the lid of the oak trunk. "Oh. Well then."

Xander lifted out several of the journals, checking dates to see what time frames they covered. "She was always an old fashioned girl when it came to her diary. She wouldn't ever put it on computer." He looked at the other contents briefly; trying to pretend it didn't hurt to see mementos of her relationship with Oz overshadowing the things he'd given her. "I think we have what we need. Let's go."

Oz stepped inside the room. "Find them? It's getting late. We need to go."

"Do you have flashlights in the van?" At Oz's nod, he raced down the stairs. "Then let's go."

*****  
"I feel kind of weird reading her diaries. It's not like she's a Watcher or anything. It's an invasion of her privacy. I wouldn't want you guys pawing through my personal thoughts," Cordelia looked down at the leather book in her hand. She did not want to open it and find out what exactly Willow Rosenberg thought of her.

"Just do it, Cordy. We don't have much time."

"What are we looking for?"

Xander shrugged. "I don't know. It's like the poem. We'll know it if we see it."

Buffy opened the book in her hands. The sight of Willow's neat, precise writing sent a surge of worry through her. What if she never saw her friend again? She shook the thought out of her mind and started to read.

~~Buffy and I spent the day talking. It was a lot of fun. No demons, vampires, werewolves or boys. Just girl talk. It was the best day I've had in a long time.~~

Faith opened hers. She smiled at the innocence in the words. How could she still be so innocent after everything she'd seen?

~~Tonight we went dancing. The Hellmouth was closed and we decided to party. Cordelia even deigned to spend a few moments with lowly old us. Xander had asked Buffy, but after taking on the Master, it was sort of a moot point. No dating. Just all of us, being friends. He even asked me to dance. Before he asked her. And the entire time he held me, he didn't look at her once.~~

Angel watched everyone's faces as they read various passages. He wondered what insight they were gaining into themselves as well as into their quiet friend.

~~Have you ever thought that maybe nothing is the way you planned? I mean, when I was a little girl, I fully expected to grow up and marry Xander. I didn't even mind that he didn't seem to see me like a girl. I knew in time he would. But now, I'm almost grown up and I've decided I don't like it at all. Things are supposed to make sense now and instead they keep getting more convoluted. Buffy is the Slayer. It's her job, her calling, her life. And she loves the thing she's supposed to hate. And Xander….well, I don't think Xander's ever going to open his eyes. Which means I'm pretty much out of luck when it comes to his heart.~~

Giles knew the value of a good diary. He'd read hundreds in his time and each perusing had given him valuable information. Each person's life had worth and value and dignity. He forced himself to open the book in his hands. The diaries he read were of lives long past. This was different.

~~He tries to be so strong for all of us. He loves us in his way. But we see when he hurts. We see when the pain gets to be all too much. I stared at him through my half-closed eyes during the entire funeral. He held such grief. It seemed to radiate off him in waves. I thought, if we weren't careful, we'd all get swept away by it. I wish I had the courage to just hug him and let him know that we're all here for him. He doesn't have to be the grown-up all the time. But then I think about hugging him and I get all girly. Cause he is kind of cute. For a librarian~~

Oz looked up at Giles' quiet chuckle. He'd made sure to grab the one that covered the time she and Xander had been cheating on them. They'd talked about it, but this was his one opportunity to see what she'd really thought. Maybe it wasn't fair. Maybe it was petty. But as soon as this battle was over, there was likely to be another one. And he wanted to win.

~~I can't wear this dress to Homecoming. I can't. I'll stand there and see Oz's face and be thinking about what this stupid dress has brought on. Okay, it isn't the dress. It's him. And me. He kissed me…we kissed today and it was everything I ever imagined it would be. Fireworks, hearts racing, getting lost in his eyes. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. But it was, by far, the saddest. Because I know, no matter what happens from here on in, I have to make a choice. And I love Oz. And I love Xander. And I don't know how to choose between the boy I've loved all my life and the boy I love with all my heart.~~

Cordelia thumbed through the worn pages. Obviously this was one of Willow's favorites to go back and read through. "I really hate this," she whispered.

~~Cordelia helped us today. She really came through. And, not once did she comment on my outfit or fashion sense. Perhaps there's hope for her yet. She's good for Xander. She gives him confidence - the right kind, not the false jocularity he carries around most of the time. She makes him smile those secret smiles that other people aren't supposed to see. The kind that, when you do see them, you know exactly what the other person is thinking. And you blush to be so close to someone so happy~~.

He'd known her the longest, shared so many of her thoughts and dreams with her. He was the one who knew that when she was seven, her braid had fallen into a pot of paste and she'd had to cut some of her glorious hair. He was the one who knew that she used to pretend lima beans were made out of jelly so that she could eat them. He was the one who knew all about her. But he didn't know her at all.

~~I have a boyfriend. For the first time in my life, someone said to themselves, hey, I like that girl. I want to be with her. I don't know that I'll ever not be in love with Xander, but Oz lets me know that there's hope. For me. And maybe for all of us~~.

*****  
The sharp flint in her hands bit through her skin. Drops of the crimson liquid stained the cloth beneath her. She stared down at it absently, not knowing or caring that the blood had come from her.

A loud grinding noise came from the cave's entrance. The deep black eyes that matched her own stared into her soul. "Willow? Have you come for me?"

"Yes."

"They will come for you?"

"Yes." She stood and stepped out of the circle of incense, now all burned to ash. "They all come."

"No. Just the ones who love you."

"They all love me." Strange flickers danced through the black of her eyes. "But not like you love me."

The creature stepped forward cautiously, as if it were afraid of her. "I will shed their blood upon the ground. I will bathe in their lives and eat of their souls. You will offer them to me."

"My loves will come." She stepped ever closer, touching the gray surface of it with her bloody palm. As the blood stained the rock, the creature hissed in delight. "I will serve you well."

*****  
Buffy closed the book, barely holding in her quiet sobs. "Giles, I don't see anything here that's going to help us save Willow. We don't even know how to fight this demon yet, other than resorting to killing her. And I won't let that happen."

He rubbed his temples. "I know, Buffy. I'm afraid I'm useless this time. Without the help of the Watcher's books, I'm can't tell you what to do. And I've never been more sorry in my life."

"Shut the hell up!" Xander screamed. "What's wrong with you people? You're acting like she's dead. Like she's beyond our help. Well here, stupid boy's gonna answer all your questions. We see the demon, you try things. If they don't work, try other things. One way or another, we win. Those are the rules. We defy the odds every day of our lives just by surviving. So can we please quit the self-pity crap? As for helping Willow, according to that damn poem, her feelings are giving this demon a gateway. So we let her know how we feel about her." He glared at all of them in turn, pausing for just a brief moment on Cordelia. "How we really feel. And so, in advance, I'm sorry as hell Oz, but I'm going to tell her I love her." He sat down and looked at the carpet in the van. In a voice barely above a whisper, he asked. "So can we please get going now?"

Oz tossed the journal into the pile in the center of the van. "Right." He looked at the younger boy and smiled. "Apology accepted. Just as long as you realize I'm telling her the same thing. And she's going to like it coming from me a lot more."

Xander's chin jerked up. "We'll see, wolf-boy. We'll see."

*****  
Giles moved over between Faith and Buffy. "Xander may be right. If this demon is of some sort of stone or granite…"

"Isn't granite a kind of stone?"

"Shut up, Buffy. If the demon is of stone, we'll need to come up with some new attacks. Obviously you won't be punching or kicking it. That would result in more damage to you. What defeats stone?"

"Paper." Cordelia smiled meekly. "Sorry. Rock, paper, scissors."

"Dynamite?" Faith asked.

"Rocks. Other rocks. Sledgehammers. Picks?" Buffy looked around the van. "I don't see any of those things here."

"Don't worry." Cordelia perked up. "There's still building going on nearby. We should be able to find something in a foreman's building. As long as no one minds a little breaking and entering."

Buffy shrugged. "Works for me."


	15. Chapter 15

The walk up the hill was long and dangerous. Openings leading into the labyrinth of tunnels were everywhere, making every step a potential death trap. Add to that the additional weight of any and every weapon of destruction they could find, and it all came to a long, slow trudge up the slope.

"I am so not dressed for this." Cordelia moved the pick from one shoulder to the other, trying not to catch the sharp point on her sweater. "I really have to keep a change of clothes in my locker for when the freaks come." At Xander's glare, she laughed. "Not you freaks. The freaks that hunt you."

"Oh, those freaks." He was amazed that he could joke with her now. Here they were, on their way to save the girl that helped end their relationship and they were joshing around. The world really had gone mad. He adjusted his grip on the two sledgehammers he carried, secretly wishing for some Slayer strength right now. These things were heavy.

"Where do you think we should head?" Faith asked.

"I would imagine…" Giles stopped as a shout of delighted laughter rang out in the night.

"Did everyone else's blood just run cold?" Xander asked quietly. "No offense, Angel."

"None taken."

"Was that…Willow?" Buffy's voice reminded Giles of a very scared little girl. Most likely because that's exactly what she was.

"I think it was something using Willow's voice." Angel wanted to comfort her. He wanted to take her in his arms and run away from this pain. "But I don't think it was Willow."

Faith hefted two of her sledgehammers to her shoulder. "Only one way to find out."

*****  
Willow bent down and picked up one of the candles. The black wax had hardened once the flames died out, but it was still warm in her hand. "I will carve you a heart out of wax."

"I will have all the hearts I need when they come." The creature turned to her. "Who do you love most? Let me save their death for your hands."

"You know. You always know." She began to trim the excess with the piece of flint. "They're coming."

"You know what to do?"

Willow nodded and stepped back into the crevice the creature had first emerged from. The rock seemed to envelop her, closing in slightly as the demon left the cave and ventured out into the night.

*****  
Almond shaped gray eyes stared at her from across the cave. She met them with her own, determination flickering green amidst the black. She leaned back against the wall, and let her feelings rise to the fore.

Almost immediately, her mind was filled with a soft, singsong voice. "Willow, Willow, come to me."

"I've come. I'm already here."

"Let your loves come Willow. Let them come."

"They are coming."

"Fight for love, fight for love."

Her teeth clenched. "I don't know what you want from me."

"Overlooked, rock is flesh. Saved by one that loves her best." The eyes seemed to dance in the eerie glow of the cave. "Rock is flesh. Rock is flesh. Rock is flesh."

Moving forward, Willow attempted to step out of the crevice. The walls of the cave seemed to close in on her, making the escape route too small for even her slight form. Her eyes lost any semblance of their natural green color as the rock touched her skin. With a voice as dark and deep as her black, piercing gaze, she joined the chant.

"Rock is flesh. Rock is flesh."

*****  
"Do you hear something?" Oz stopped walking and looked around. Sniffing the air, he motioned to their right. "Chanting. Willow's this way."

Cordelia shivered. "I really wish you'd stop doing that around me."

"I wish I could." Oz started off, everyone else following. Faith made her way up beside him.

"Calm down. You go rushing in there, you're going to get yourself hurt or killed. Which is going to do her no good whatsoever."

"Well, I've got to find her."

"You don't know what's up there. It may be her, it may be a demon, and it may be both. But charging in there like GI Joe isn't going to do Willow or anybody any good."

"So, what do you propose?"

"Well, according to this poem, you guys are the ones who can save her or are the ones who have to destroy her. So you hang back and Buff and I attack the bad guy."

"If there is one."

"That's what we're hoping for, right?" She looked at Giles questioningly. "Big bad demon is what we want, right?"

"Yes. That would be best. I say we formulate a plan, similar to what Faith has proposed. Buffy, you and Faith center your energies on the demon. Attack it with any weapon at your disposal. Cordelia, you stay on the sidelines and feed them weapons as they need them."

Oz paced restlessly, growling under his breath. She was close; he could feel her.

"Angel, you and I will attempt to find Willow. I imagine she's in some sort of enclosure - a tunnel or cave, no doubt. The demon will want to have some hold on her."

Xander rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. Planning wasn't what he wanted to hear. He wanted to act. He wanted to save her.

"Oz, you and Xander are to hang back." Giles glared at each of them in turn. "It's going to be enough to find her. The last thing we need is one of you acting rashly. Am I understood?"

"I don't think I can just sit still, Giles." Oz stated. "I can't not do anything."

"You have no choice."

*****  
Clothar stepped from the cave and bellowed into the night. The child's voice was not fearsome enough, so he cried out with his own. The answering cries of dogs, wolves, coyotes and other creatures of the night echoed back, giving him strength.

The child was powerful. The most powerful sacrifice he'd been given in so long. So often the stupid mortals would release his twin and he would have to stay in the cave seething, trying to reach out with his words to sway the tide his way.

But this time, he was in control. The weakling was still embedded in the rock and the child was soon to be his. The stone around her would claim her soon and then she would be ready. Then he could take her heart and carve her from the stone.

He roared again, flames of the wakening candles leaping from his open maw. The night called to him. He wanted to follow the cries and take the world as his own, but he knew he had to wait. Her loves were so young. Their blood would fill him like no other. Her jumbled thoughts gave him purchase in trapping them. They would come and lay down their lives for her. They would die to try to save her.

They would die. And they would fail.

She was his.

*****  
A small part of Willow's mind gibbered in terror. Rationally, if she could think rationally, she knew that Buffy would come to save her. Friendship and life meant far more to Buffy than this petty argument. But the cave was closing in on her and she could feel the smoothness of the rock rub against her skin. It was almost like the caress of a lover, as it would just stroke her, raising the hairs on the back of her neck.

She could hear herself chanting along with the voices that filled the cave. The eyes that had frightened her earlier had faded until they were almost non-existent, but she could still feel their stare. She wished she could figure out what they were trying to tell her.

The demon's cries made her blood run cold. She didn't want to die like this. She didn't want to die in some cave surrounded by inky black wax. She didn't want to die without apologizing to all her friends. She'd been mean and vindictive and hurtful. She wanted the chance to make it all up to them.

She jumped as the rock moved against her arm again, this time pressing against it. She closed her eyes, fear causing her to tremble. The stone ground against her. A sharp pain coursed through her and she screamed.

*****  
The entire group looked up as Willow's scream rent the air. "That's it, enough planning. We go. Now." Buffy grabbed the handful of tools she'd set on the ground. "That scream was Willow."

*****  
She stared at her arm in horror as the rock slowly worked its way under her skin. It was all around her now, pressing through her flesh, embedding itself inside her. She screamed again in fear and pain. She met the eyes on the far wall with her own frightened ones. They flashed green and the voices became deafening.

"Rock is flesh."


	16. Chapter 16

Clothar howled his annoyance. Where were these boys that so loved his child? They had promised him a feast and instead he was standing here reigning in his hunger waiting. He hated waiting.

Buffy nodded to Faith. They crouched on the branches of the tree that clung impossibly to the rock face of the hill. The moonlight bathed the demon in a golden glow, shining on the white specks in its otherwise gray hide. They watched silently as it slammed its fist down onto a boulder and shattered the stone. Hefting the sledgehammer to her shoulder she counted to three with her fingers.

One.

Faith got into position, ready to drop on its shoulders.

Two.

Buffy figured how much time it would take her to fall, calculating her swing.

Three.

Cordelia screamed. Distraction was her specialty.

And the world came tumbling down.

*****  
"That was our cue," Angel ran the rest of the way up the hill to the glowing cave entrance. Giles followed, taking the time to nod reassurance to Xander and Oz.

The mouth of the cave was shimmering with an unknown source of light. Giles noted the interior as he and Angel looked inside.

"Black candles. Made of some magical wax. I believe they're commonly known as wakening candles." He looked for Willow, frustrated that he didn't see the girl.

"Blood."

"What?" He turned to Angel, unnerved by his vampiric visage. "Oh, blood. Willow's?"

"Yes." Angel stepped into the cave, anticipating resistance. None came, so he walked further in. "You know they've followed us."

"Yes. I imagine they couldn't help themselves. But hopefully they'll stay far enough away." Giles sighed. "I know how difficult it can be to resist coming to the aid of someone you love."

Angel laughed bitterly. "Yeah. Well, that's the activity of choice in Sunnydale, isn't it?" He stepped up to the linen cloth and inhaled the aroma of fresh blood. "It's recent. There's not a lot, so I'm assuming she's okay. No actual sacrifices. Although, I'm getting a stronger sense of it than this accounts for."

"What does that mean?"

"She's still bleeding."

*****  
The pickaxe came down in the middle of the creature's head. Faith prided herself on her aim, then cursed at herself as the damn thing sent her flying. She held out her hand as Cordelia tossed a sledgehammer at her.  
Buffy hit the ground swinging, knocking a chunk of the demon off with the edge of the hammer's head. Rolling out of the way, she poised herself for another attack. Faith's axe was still embedded in its head and it was obviously angry. Good.

Cordelia was amazed at herself. She'd screamed right when she was supposed to and hadn't given in to the desire to do it again. Her adrenaline was pumping, giving her the necessary strength to toss the weapons to the Slayers. As much as she hated doing this, she was glad she was actually able to help.

She looked over at the demon as Buffy took her second swing. She really hoped that wasn't Willow inside there.

Faith hit the creature in the back and knocked off a football-sized chunk of its body. "Yeah!" She cried out. Knowing she could hurt this thing made it all worth while. She geared up for another swipe when something caught her eye. "Hey B, I think we got ourselves a problem."

"What's that?" Buffy panted.

"It's regenerating." Faith swung again, despite the growing fear that it was futile. "It's drawing more stone out of the ground."

*****  
Xander bent his head. His feet were not the most interesting of things, but he didn't want to look at Oz and see his own fear reflected in his eyes. This really wasn't fair. They were the ones who had to save her. They were the ones who loved her more than anyone else. They should be the ones in the cave.

"You thinkin' what I'm thinking?" Oz asked quietly.

"Think so."

"I can't wait." He looked inside the cave, seeing Giles and Angel disappear into it. "I didn't say anything before because I didn't want to scare anyone, but I can tell she's scared. Really scared. And she's bleeding."

"You're scaring me."

"Are you coming?"

"Yeah." Xander let him lead the way, trusting his nose to show them the way. "I just want you to know that I'm okay with the fact that it's gonna be you."

"Me?" Oz turned back to him. "What are you talking about?"

"Saved by one that loves her best." He shrugged. "It's cool that it's you. And when this is all over, I'll step aside. For real. For good."

"Putting the cart before the horse, aren't you? We don't know who Willow wants. Kind of presumptuous of us to assume."

"And again, you're being the best guy for her."

"I don't know, Xander. You're being pretty noble here yourself. I really wish you'd stop it too, because I'm finding it harder and harder to hate you."

"Yeah, wolf-boy. I know the feeling."

*****  
Angel's yellow eyes gleamed in the darkness. "I see something."

"Willow?"

"No, then I'd say I see Willow. I'm not going for code here." He sighed, a bad habit he'd picked up from Buffy lately. "Sorry, I'm a little on edge. This place is alive with magic. We're going to have to watch out for Oz. I wouldn't be surprised if this transformed him."

"Oh, good. Because we need to handle a werewolf as well."

"Enough sarcasm." Angel nodded. "I smell her blood. She's this way."

Giles stepped cautiously around the rivulets of candle wax, unwilling to let the obviously tainted stuff touch him. He whispered the words of the protection spell he'd taught Willow, stretching it to cover Oz and Xander as well.

Oz felt the magic growing around him. His nerve endings were jangling, and he felt the change coming on. But this time it was different. He didn't feel animalistic. He felt…natural. Growling low, he sniffed the air. His senses were even more heightened.

When Giles' protection spell hit him, he barely contained his howl. He felt the hairs on his body begin to lengthen and then the sharp shifting of bone and sinew. It was different. He retained his thought process, and seemed to have stopped shifting part way through the transformation.

"Hey, Oz?"

He turned to the younger boy behind him.

Xander screamed.

*****  
"Hit it harder and faster! Cordelia, throw me another hammer!" Buffy felt the whistling of the weapon flying through the air and grabbed it casually. "All right, Mr. Demon, I don't like you and I don't like the fact that you're not dying. But, I'm an open minded girl, so just know I don't have to like you to kill you."

"Buffy?" The demon looked at her, Willow's voice sounding strange coming from its lips of stone.

"No. You're not good at this. Willow's not inside you."

"I love you, Buffy. You're my best friend."

She swung angrily, ignoring the tears in her eyes. "No. You guessed wrong. Xander's her best friend. Right now, I'm just the Slayer."

Faith grabbed the axe out of its head finally and started chipping away. "I'm getting somewhere!" She shouted. "The further from the ground, the longer it takes to regenerate. Aim for the head!"

"With pleasure!"

*****  
Giles turned around at Xander's scream only to be knocked to the floor by him. "Oof. What in God's name is the matter with you?"

"Oz. Wolf. Dinner?"

Angel snickered. "Told you."

Oz joined them, walking in a loping manner. "Sorry." His voice sounded strange due to his mouth's changed characteristics. "What's going on?"

"Magic." Giles pushed himself off the floor and sighed. Would these children ever learn to listen to him? "It's effecting all of us. Heightened senses, reverting to type. Angel has been in his vampire face since we entered the cave."

Xander hung his head. "Great. Alone in a cave with a vampire, a werewolf and a watcher."

"Mentor, demon, wolf and clown." Giles smiled. "Well, I think we should have no problem finding Willow now."


	17. Chapter 17

Faith had managed to jump back up on the creature's shoulders and was hacking away with her pick. Her knees ground against the stone, causing hot flashes of pain in her legs. Her clothes were ruined, the sharp jagged edges of his mangled stone flesh ripping and tearing the fabric.

"You okay up there, kemosabe?"

"Doin' fine." She grunted.

"Great." Buffy put all of her weight and strength into her next blow. Hitting the demon solidly in the chest, she struggled to pull the hammer back.

Clothar reared back in pain and nearly jerked the Slayer's arms out of their sockets. Buffy released her grip on the handle quickly, her arms aching. Faith screamed and fell flat on her back.

"Christ, that hurt." She rolled out of the way of the pounding feet of the creature and managed to sit up. The bitterly cold night air seeped into the cuts and scratches she'd acquired and caused her to hiss in pain. "Cordelia, what else we got?"

"Um," Cordelia looked down at the now dwindling pile of weaponry at her feet, "Not much. Hammer or axe?"

"Hammer." The Slayers called in unison.

She tried to throw them, but the cold had affected her muscles. They fell at her feet. "Okay, hammers. Coming." She wrestled with them and carried them to the Slayers.

"Cordelia." The demon again spoke with Willow's voice. "Why are you here? You could care less about me. You hate me. We've always hated each other. You never loved him. You could never love him like I love him. You were just a stand in. Somebody to bide his time with until he was ready to admit he was in love with me."

Cordelia raised her chin hautily. "Really? Well, you believe that all you want demon. Willow's my friend. And I'd do anything for her."

The creature's eyes pulsed with energy as it stared down at the defiant girl. She hefted the hammer she'd planned to give Buffy as she faced it. "Anything? Even die?"

The full force of the demon's blow sent Cordelia flying through the air. She hit the ground hard and pain exploded inside her. She tasted blood in her mouth. The demon was still staring at her, ignoring the attacks of the Slayers. She fought her way to her feet and faced it again. "Even die."

*****  
Xander hung back as Oz and Angel searched through the cave's crevices, hunting for her scent. He looked around the main room and decided it seriously needed an interior decorator. Black candles were everywhere, most burned to stumps. Something on the wall caught his attention and he walked over it. There was a pair of eyes carved into the rock.

"Hey, Giles? Would you come look at this?"

The Watcher joined him. "Hmm. It appears to be eyes."

"Right. Eyes. For watching?" Xander turned slowly in a circle. "But watching what?" He looked directly across from them and his breath caught in his throat. "Guys?" he croaked. "I found her."

The others clustered around him. "Where?" Oz sniffed the air.

Xander pointed. "There."

Willow stood inside a small enclosure, her eyes black. Her skin gray. "Oh my," Giles sputtered. "Overlooked, rock is flesh."

"I'm so not liking this poem." Xander tried to step forward but Angel's extended arm stopped him.

"Saved by one that loves her best. We need to figure that part out. I think mistakes at a time like this would be extremely bad."

The creature who was Willow opened her mouth. "Mentor, Demon, Wolf and Clown. My loves are here."

"Wills?" Xander pushed past the vampire, his hand reaching out to touch his friend. Tears clouded his vision and he stumbled slightly. "I'm so sorry, Wills."

"My loves have come. He'll be so happy. I told him you would come." Her smile was a terrible thing. "Come to me. Come to me, Xander?"

Oz grabbed his arms to keep him from moving any further. He fought against the strong hold. "Let me go, Oz."

"No."

"We have to save her."

"Who loves her best, Xander? Not most, not longest, not the way she wishes. Who loves her best?"

Angel shook his head. "We all do."

*****  
Buffy was tired. This damn thing never got any smaller or weaker. Or turned into dust. She was really missing vampires right now.

Over her own panting breath, she could hear Cordelia's wheezing. The hit she took had obviously done some damage and they needed to get her to a doctor. She wondered briefly how the boys were doing. If they had found Willow, if this thing was going to be over soon.

Cordelia coughed, horrified at the blood on her hands. She really hated hanging with these people. Her father's insurance had better be up to date.

Faith heard Cordelia's coughing and cringed. She knew the sound of blood. Having broken a rib or two in her time, it was a sound she was way too familiar with. "Buffy, we gotta get the prom queen out of here. She's in need of some major medical help."

"Don't you think I know that?" She refused to let her tears of anger and frustration get the better of her. "But I'm kinda busy right now. Hey Cordelia!"

"Yeah?" She asked weakly.

"Don't die on me, okay? I need some help picking out a graduation outfit."

"Okay."

"Go back to the foreman's shed and use the phone. Dial 911 and get yourself some help."

"I can't leave you guys."

"Cordelia? Please? I couldn't bear it if something happened to you, too." Buffy spared her a glance and a smile.

"Buffy! Look out!" Faith's warning rang out in the night.

*****  
They walked forward as one, each taking hold of her cool, smooth skin. Xander noticed everyone barely repressing shivers and didn't feel so bad. "Overlooked, rock is flesh. Saved by one that loves her best." He squeezed her hand. "I love you Willow."

Oz held her arm tightly. "I love you, baby."

Angel held her forearm gently in his grip, counting on his vampiric strength to do the work. "Thank you for my soul."

Giles smiled down at the girl who reminded him so much of himself. Taking her hand, he offered up a silent prayer. "You're like a daughter to me, Willow."

And they pulled.

*****  
Buffy groaned. As helpful as it was meant to be, all Faith's warning had served to do was make her look right at the blow as it landed. She was pretty sure her nose was broken. Getting a fistful of rock in the face tended to do that. She raised her hand to stop the flow of blood and, using the tree she'd landed against as support, got to her feet.

"I really hate you." She blinked rapidly, trying to turn the three demons she now saw back into just one. Her head throbbed; she could feel the scrapes on her scalp where the tree bark had cut into her flesh. "I'm not voting for you as demon of the year." She flung her hand out to her side, hoping desperately that her nose had stopped bleeding. Losing blood right now might seriously affect their chances of winning.

Two drops of blood landed at the demon's feet.

*****  
The four men pulled, trying to ignore the sound of shards of rock ripping from her flesh.

*****  
And the demon screamed.

*****  
"Never do this on a first date," Xander mumbled. He did everything he could not to listen to her body peeling away from the back wall of the cave. As she got farther from it, they could see small veins of rock trailing from her back to the wall. "I'm so sorry if I'm the cause of this."

Oz growled. He could smell her now. As the rock was leaving her flesh, the scent that was Willow was slowly coming back. But the sound, undoubtedly loud to Xander and Giles' ears, was even worse for him. He just hoped it didn't hurt as bad as it sounded.

Angel could smell the blood. The tendrils of rock were coated in her blood, as though it had coursed through her veins. His demon's hunger was ever present and the smell was almost too much. She was losing far too much blood. The smell of it was overwhelming.

Giles watched the blood run down her body to the ground. It was as though there were thousands of pinpricks in her skin. As though blood were coming from her pores. He looked up into her eyes, frightened by the blackness he saw there. If they were too late, he would personally go to the Watcher's council and string them up by their entrails.

"Um, is that bad?"

The other three followed Xander's gaze.

Willow was smiling.


	18. Chapter 18

Cordelia staggered to her feet and made her way to Buffy. "Are you okay?"

The demon hadn't stopped screaming.

"I would be if Rocko over there would shut up."

Faith kept swinging the sledgehammer. She connected with the demon's arm and shrieked.

"What?" Buffy looked over Cordelia's shoulder. The arm lay on the ground. Buffy looked at the body. It had one arm. "Whoo-hoo! It's gone Fugitive on us!" Ignoring her pain, not to mention her funny sounding voice, Buffy picked up another hammer and started pounding. The beast tried backing away, but with Cordelia joining the fray, it was surrounded.

It bellowed and shoved Faith out of the way. They stared after it as it ran up the hill toward the cave.

"Oh shit."

*****  
With a loud ripping sound, her body came completely free of the wall. She fell forward, collapsing into Giles' arms. Her skin was still pale, almost white, but it was a vast improvement over the ghastly gray it had been.

He tilted her head back and checked her pulse. It was weak, but throbbing at the base of her neck. He opened one eye. Blackness as dark as the candle wax stared back at him. "Xander? Oz? Willow's eyes are green, correct?"

"Most of the time." Oz nodded.

"Oh, dear. I'm afraid we're not finished." He gathered her close to him and carried her to the center of the room. Setting her on the blood stained cloth, he fumbled for a match. Lighting one of the candles in front of her, he tried to clear his mind so he could cast another protection spell.

"We don't have time for this Giles." Angel moved to the mouth of the cave, worry for Buffy plain on his face. "We need to make sure they're all okay."

A scream tore the silent night in two. "Demon?" Xander asked.

"Demon."

"I say the Slayers are winning."

"Coming this way."

"I say we run."

*****  
Ignoring their numerous injuries, the girls raced after the demon. Faith let out of whoop of delight and threw her sledgehammer like it was a Frisbee. It connected solidly with the back of the creature's head, sending it tumbling to the ground.

Clothar attempted to get up, but the Slayers descended upon it like vultures. Cordelia joined in, hacking at its neck with her axe, letting Buffy and Faith handle the more strenuous work. She almost smiled at the sheer absurdity of the night. Three girls, bleeding and broken, were kicking this demon's ass.

It felt almost as good as shopping.

Buffy sniffed back the blood that had started running from her nose. Pure, unadulterated pain pulsed through her entire face, but it fueled her. She shook her head and noticed the drops of blood falling on the demon's flesh. Sizzling sounds filled the night, as holes appeared where the blood had fallen. "What do you know? Slayer blood is like holy water for this guy."

"Great, should we open a vein?" Faith motioned Cordelia back and swung the hammer. The head, already mostly detached, shattered into pieces of gravel. "Or just do that?"

Buffy shrugged and started for the cave. "I vote that."

*****  
Giles felt the shudder run through her and held her close to him. Prayers, as useless as they usually were, ran through his head. His heart clenched and he sighed. His Slayer was safe.  
Oz heard the voices before the others and ran down to meet them. His wolfish appearance faded somewhat as he got further from the cave. "We okay out here?"

"Yeah. In there?"

"It's not pretty." He let Buffy hug him as they walked back to the cave. "Warning, I'm gonna change here in a bit. Don't be afraid."

"Is Willow okay?" Cordelia held her stomach, the aftereffects of the chase causing her breath to become even shallower.

"I don't think so. Not yet. And the way the poem ends, I don't know that she will be."

"Xander, what's the rest?"

"Inside her heart, the demon lies. Kill the vessel, still the cries. Death will stop this evil's rise. Peace will reign as her flame dies." His voice was flat, as though all the emotion had been drained out of him.

Everyone crowded into the cave, staring down at the shaking girl in Giles' arms. Xander looked over at the carving in the wall again. He yelped.

"What?" Faith asked.

"Eyes. Over there. Flashing. Not good. Flashing bad."

Buffy stepped over to the eyes on the wall. "These are like the demon's, only they're green." She looked down at Willow. "Do you think maybe the demon has got Willow in here? And he's in there?" She nodded at her friend's body.

"What's in her hand?" Cordelia sank to the floor beside Giles, partly to open Willow's clenched fist and partly because it was cooler than falling down. She gently pried Willow's fingers apart and pulled out a wax figurine. "What's this?"

Giles grabbed it and laughed. Leaning down, he planted a solid kiss on the hacker's forehead. "Buffy? Do you have a weapon?"

"Pickaxe okay?"

"Perfect." He removed Willow from his lap and stood, hiding the aches in his muscles as he did so. Taking the axe from his Slayer, he walked up to the demon still etched in the wall. "Inside her heart, the demon lies." He swung the axe sharply and buried it deep into the rock. The cave seemed to moan as the weapon hit its mark.

"Do you hear it?" Angel asked.

They were all silent, hearing nothing. Then, like whispers on the wind, the voices came. "Come to me. Come to me. Let me love you. Let me love you. I can make them love you."

Xander looked expectantly at Giles. "Kill the vessel, still the cries?"

Examining the wax figure in his hand, Giles held it up for everyone to see. It was a replica of the demon Buffy, Faith and Cordelia had fought with the faintest outline of Willow inside it. Giles placed it on the floor next to her and set it on fire. Immediately the voices vanished.

Oz felt hope welling up inside him. Maybe they'd make it to the Bronze yet. "Death will stop this evil's rise."

This was guesswork. But Giles would never let them know it. Pulling the axe from the demon's heart, he swung it again, shattering the glass-like eyes. Green light exploded from the wall and seemed to settle around Willow.

Angel stepped over to Buffy and put his arm around her. It was his turn. "Peace will reign as her flame dies."

With all the power in his soul, Angel moved forward and crushed the flaming effigy with his foot.

*****  
The swaying movements surprised her. Normally her bed didn't sway. She tried to sit up, but couldn't. She opened her eyes and looked around.

She was sitting between Xander's legs and his arms were wrapped around her. Oz was asleep, his head cradled in her lap. Tears filled her eyes.

"Are you all right?" Giles' voice was soft in the quiet.

"I think so. I'm not sure." She felt her body tremble with emotions she didn't understand. "Where am I? Where are we going?"

"The hospital. You, Cordelia and Buffy are in need of some looking after. We're going to let the professionals have their shot, then you're coming with us."

"Where?"

"The library. Physics club be damned."


	19. Chapter 19

"How did you figure out the poem?" Willow leaned forward. Her back stung from the antiseptic the doctor had applied, so sitting up straight was out. "Not that I'm complaining about your amazing deductive powers, but I'm curious."

"It was a group effort." Giles smiled down at his charges all arrayed around the table. "Like all of our best work."

Xander stood up and stretched. "I'm gonna get something to drink. Anybody want anything?"

"I'll help."

"No Will. You need your rest." He shook his head. "And don't try those puppy dog eyes or the resolve face, because they won't work."

She smiled up at him, "Please?"

"Okay."

They walked down the hall in silence; both of them noticing how far away the vending machines seemed to be. Finally, Xander cleared his throat.

"Willow, I'm so sorry that I hurt you."

"Xander, I owe you the apology. I made a choice. One I'm very happy with. I love Oz."

He nodded. "I know."

"But I'll always love you too. But that love doesn't give me the right to hold you back from living your life and making choices. Even if I don't like the choices you make." She stopped and grabbed his hands. "I hope that I will always be your best friend. I can't promise that I won't get jealous, because I will. But I do promise that I won't let that jealousy destroy us."

"I love you, Wills."

"I know. How can you not?" She giggled and Xander decided it was the most wonderful sound in the world.

*****  
"I guess you probably have some questions?" Buffy leaned against one of the bookcases and refused to meet his eyes. "About what I did? And why?"

"We both know that we can't be together, Buffy. You're a beautiful, amazing woman. I'm not going to be the only man in the world who notices that."

"But we're…"

"I know. And you know. But we also know we can't be together. I would give up this world if I could love you again. But it's a risk I can never take."

She bowed her head. "I know."

Lifting her chin, he smiled down at her. "But I have my memories. And I will always love you."

"Are you going to start singing now?"

"Only if you want me to."

Tears leaked from her eyes. "I don't love him like that. It was a one time thing."

"I know. And so does he." Angel leaned forward and kissed her softly. "It's almost sunrise. I have to go."

"Sometimes, I wish it would snow every day of the year."

Holding her tightly for just a moment, he nodded. "I wish that all the time."

*****  
Cordelia looked at Oz, her head tilted.

"What?"

"Are you worried?"

"No."

She smiled. "Good. I'm glad." She ran a hand through her hair, knowing there was no way it could look worse. "I'm okay now. With them. With him."

Oz's smile was delighted and genuine. "I'm glad."

"Doesn't mean I'm going to get all chummy."

"We wouldn't know what to do with you if you did. We have chummy already." He smirked. "You should go home. Get some sleep. You've been through a lot."

She nodded and stood. "Walk me to my car?"

"I'll do it." Xander smiled at her from the library doors. "I'd like to escort you to your car, Miss Chase."

Willow walked over to Oz and watched them walk out. Before the doors shut behind them, she called out, "Cordelia?"

"What?"

"Thanks."

"Oh, like I wanted to listen to these two if I didn't help?" She tossed her hair and walked away. But not before Willow saw her smile.

*****  
"I know I apologized earlier, but I…"

"Xander? Shut up." She leaned against her car and looked at him. "You're a dork. You're barely above the lowest rung on the stepladder of life."

"And sinking." He hated himself. Why did he set himself up for this kind of abuse?

"But I loved you. Maybe still do a little. You're a good man, Xander Harris."

"And you're quite a woman, Miss Chase."

*****  
Giles walked with Faith to his car. "Would you like a ride?"

"No. I want a walk." She laughed quietly. "You know what I worry about sometimes?"

"What?"

"That I'm really gonna start likin' you guys and they're gonna ship me someplace else. And I'll be alone, like a good Slayer should." She sighed. "But I've seen the way you guys work. And it beats being alone."

"Faith, the best thing about liking us, is that we like you too. And that doesn't go away. So you're never alone."

*****  
Oz just looked at her, his heart in his eyes. "I was worried about you. About us."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I knew it would all work out."

"You did? How?"

"Remember the poem I wrote you?"

"Yeah."

"I found the tune."


	20. Chapter 20

The mayor stared out of his window, looking down at the peaceful streets of his city. Nothing angered him more than peaceful streets.

Punching the worn button on his speed dial, he waited impatiently for the call to be connected. It was picked up on the first ring, almost as if the party he was calling expected him.

"Snyder?"

"Um, er. Hello, Mr. Mayor."

"I'm looking outside and not seeing any rampant destruction. I was really hoping to see rampant destruction. I thought you said the Slayer was taken care of."

"She was…"

"Obviously not." The mayor sighed, mentally replotting his campaign strategy. "Well, I warned you, didn't I?"

Snyder gulped. "Yes sir."

"Retribution is not a pretty thing, Snyder." He hung up the phone when he heard the knock on Snyder's door in the background. Smiling, he realized that there would be some destruction tonight. No, retribution was not a pretty thing, but it was a beautiful sight.


End file.
